DETROIT — Little Caesars Arena DJ Richard King is waiting for the perfect moment to play “Welcome to the Jungle” during a Detroit Red Wings game, according to sources unsuccessfully trying to sing the ‘sha-na-na-na-na-na knees’ part of the song.
“It’s a lot of pressure, DJ’ing a hockey game” said King while cueing up “Cotton Eye Joe” for the next break in play. “I’m worried that if I play ‘Welcome to the Jungle’’ at the wrong time it won’t whip the crowd into a frenzy like I know it should. It could get us going right before a power play, but then what if a fight breaks out? Then what will I do? We can only play songs once, and I don’t want to be left in the lurch. What if we go to overtime? ‘Welcome to the Jungle’ would certainly set the mood. ‘Enter Sandman’ is a backup I suppose, but I think the world agrees that we can bench that one for a while.”
Detroit Red Wings Hall-of-Famer Nicklas Lidstrom knows all about in-arena music affecting games.
“We should have won the cup in 2010, “reported Lidstrom while lamenting that he left Sweden to live in Detroit. “But some idiot played ‘Cherry Pie’ by Warrant right before the last faceoff. With only seconds to go I had the puck on my stick, and the other team’s goalie was out of position, but instead of burying it in the net to tie the game I thought ‘Fucking Warrant? Really?’! Well, that distracted me long enough for their goalie to make the save and win the cup. I personally blame that loss on DJ Richard King, because we should have had back-to-back cups that year.”
Guns n Roses vocalist Axl Rose offered his two cents on the matter.
“I don’t know what hockey is, I don’t want to know, and if anybody tries to explain it to me I’ll scream until the cops come,” said Rose as he tried on Slash’s sunglasses. “But I do know that I’ll personally sue any DJ that improperly plays GNR songs. And that includes that no-good DJ Ashba. Dude gives me the willies.”
At press time King was being beaten up by the Detroit Red Wings for accidentally playing “Rock and Roll Part II” after a goal.