ALLENTOWN, Pa. — Local man Adam Jones fell under scrutiny after his claims of “liking all genres of music” was merely referencing King Gizzard and the Lizard Wizard’s discography, those close to him have confirmed.
“I definitely see myself as someone with a robust palette. Whether it’s psych rock, folk, electronic, garage rock, or thrash I love all the genres of guitar music. It just so happens King Gizzard encompasses all of that and more so yeah, I like everything,” said Jones. “There’s 27 albums to choose from, I mean that’s pretty much the most of the musical spectrum. Why delve into the history of prog rock with six different playlists when I can just put on ‘Polygondwanaland’ and call it a day? It’s everyone else who’s stuck in their own audio prisons, not me.”
Jones’ girlfriend didn’t realize his tastes revolved entirely around the band until months into their relationship.
“I was attracted to Adam’s open mindedness and that he wasn’t some gatekeeping snob. It wasn’t until we went to a jazz club a few weeks ago and he asked when they were going to get to singing about huntsman spiders. He then explained ‘Sketches of Brunswick East’ to me for over an hour and I realized he’s not listened to anything outside of King Gizzard,” said Kelly Pollack. “I asked if he’d at least heard of Coltrane, and he thought that was a toothpaste. I seriously can’t take on the mental load of trying to broaden his horizons outside of an Australian rock band.”
Record store owners were quick to point out many music fans like Jones existed, much to their chagrin.
“I’m always catching shit from supposed know-it-alls who get caught up in these genre-hopping bands like KGLW. Most of these groups actually are great but their versatility ends up having its own gravitational pull, per se,” said Kirk Mulholland. “Can’t tell you how many times I’ve had someone come in here asking for any ska, hardcore, and jazz fusion records and then get visibly confused and upset when I don’t produce a Mr. Bungle album. And don’t get me started on Ween fans, I had to give them their own section of the shop to make them happy.”
As of press time, Jones told his girlfriend he’d branched out to liking country rock after getting around to buying King Gizzard’s “Flight b741” album.