TAMPA, Fla. — Legendary Iron Maiden frontman Bruce Dickinson stopped a song midway through during the band’s Soft Retirement Of The Beast U.S. Summer Tour to give fans notes after letting them sing the chorus, baffled concertgoers confirmed.
“Of course I love to involve the audience when we play live, but this was just a load of rubbish,” noted Dickinson. “We were tearing through ‘Run To The Hills’ which has a spectacular chorus, right? So I decided to turn it over to the fans. Bloody hell, it’s like they were pissed on a dozen pints at a karaoke bar. I stopped the song and clapped the beat and tried to get them to sing in tune. It was utterly pointless. I love our fans, but please, let’s have your shit together next time. We demand better from them.”
Attendees at last night’s concert shared a different perspective from the perfectionist frontman after their performance.
“Yeah it was pretty weird,” remembered showgoer Claire Hamilton. “We were all in the pit near the front of the stage, getting into the song, when Bruce pointed the mic at us to sing. I was like, ‘Hell yeah! This kicks so much ass!’ Then about halfway through the chorus, Bruce just stopped the band and gave us a music lesson. He brought a tuner out like my old band director and made us tap our feet to a metronome. It kinda sucked, honestly. I mean, I just went there to drink beer and hail Satan, not sit through a 30-minute presentation about how to harmonize in unison.”
As Dickinson became more frustrated with the audience, the sound guy already had a backup plan for such a disastrous moment.
“I’ve been through a few of these U.S. tours with Bruce and the guys before,” commented veteran Iron Maiden sound guy Richard Brixington. “When Bruce is running through a tune and the audience isn’t up to snuff with his stringent musical expectations, he gives me the ‘horns up’ signal, and I pipe in an AI-generated chorus that is more suited to his liking. It, in effect, relieves the audience of their shitty performance.”
At press time, Iron Maiden’s manager made an announcement that all following shows will require potential front-row audience members to pass a brief vocal audition before being granted access.