PHILADELPHIA — Singer Anthony Green, best known as the lead vocalist of Saosin, Circa Survive, The Sound of Animals Fighting, L.S. Dunes, and too many others, was reportedly caught forming three additional supergroups behind bandmates’ backs, despite telling them he can stop if needed, confirmed concerned sources.
“I don’t have a problem forming new bands, I can quit anytime I want,” said Green, half-sheepishly, while running his hand through his hair. “I’ve never been someone who can satisfy themself roughing out one, or two, demos alone in my basement. When I told the guys I wanted to see other dudes on the side, they seemed totally fine having a musical poly singer. Besides, I used to be way worse. In 2012, I binge-formed eight groups within a three month span. That was my rock bottom.”
Saosin guitarist Beau Burchell wasn’t too pleased when he discovered Green’s musical infidelity.
“There are only so many chances you can give the lead singer of your band,” said Burchell. “Just last week I flew out to see a guy I met on tour. We spent the whole weekend together in his studio making magic—But I’d never let that get back to the other guys! Anthony on the other hand is always on his phone texting other dudes right in front of us. It’s super rude. The other day I overheard him asking some guy how many layers he had on a vocal track, begging him to take some off. The guy clearly has a problem and probably needs an intervention at this point.”
Famed “Rock Doc” Zane Williams was all too familiar with interpersonal relationships within bands.
“When you’re successful, there’s always someone willing to enable you,” said Williams. “Too many times I’ve seen singers on the wrong side of 40 performing exclusively with artists half their age. It’s a slippery slope. This is why Mike Patton spent years in rehab to ween off of forming new bands. If you can’t curb this disease, it’ll be your downfall. Just look at Eric Clapton!”
At press time, bandmates were once again disappointed after they went through Green’s phone and discovered dozens of Instagram messages with him forming side projects with his followers.