SLEEPY HOLLOW, N.Y. — 38-year-old Jason Andrews recently came to the conclusion that his most revered album of the year was none other than Spotify’s “Daily Mix 4,” sources who personally thought it was a little overrated confirmed.
“This might even be my favorite of the year for the next decade,” said Andrews before giving “Daily Mix 2” a shot after hearing good things about it. “Spotify somehow knows I don’t enjoy any music post-2010. That’s not my fault though. We all know music peaked in 2006 after 12 to 15 glorious years of existence. What I like most about DM4 is that there are no surprises and it doesn’t make you think too much. Just banger after banger of songs that just so happen to be on various playlists I’ve made years ago. That being said, I think my least favorite one is something called ‘Discover Weekly.’ I couldn’t follow it at all. Hard pass.”
Spotify engineer Jules Winthrop, who is credited with the Daily Mix algorithm, gave their expert insight.
“Machine learning has totally revolutionized the way we experience music,” said Winthrop. “You know how the Facebook algorithm just feeds you information to reinforce what you already believe and want to hear? Well, we stole that idea for the ‘Daily Mix’ series, only it’s music you loved when you were in high school and nothing that challenges it. By the year 2030 no one over the age of 35 will have to experience new music ever again. You’re welcome.”
Behavioral therapist Dr. Julian Meadows believes it’s human nature to gravitate toward comfort.
“As we get older, we crave familiarity,” said Meadows. “But that’s only because the more we see of the world, the more we realize it’s nothing but a chaotic shitshow that we’re forced to participate in every single day until we just sort of croak. So in the meantime, people are drawn towards things they can control. That’s why you see older people cling to outdated ideas and elder emos hold onto Hawthorne Heights for way too long. We just want what we know, even though new stuff is just as good, if not better.”
At press time, Andrews revealed his favorite movie of the year was the Netflix menu screen he scrolls for hours at a time.