Hawaii: Poke, But Like, Good
It’s like the poke you get in the continental United States except it’s a place where raw fish in large quantities make sense so the taste isn’t hampered by wondering how many intestinal worms you’re consuming.
Idaho: Mashed Sweet Potato Served Both Too Hot And Too Cold
We don’t know how they do it, or how to even describe it really. It’s something you need to experience to understand. Don’t though.
Illinois: Another Turkey
Midwesterners love their meat, which is why the Illinois family’s favorite Thanksgiving is an entire other Turkey. To differentiate it from the main turkey, served with gravy, the side turkey is served with ground beef, chunks of ham, spaghetti sauce, and green bell pepper.
Indiana: A Sad But Resigned Cole Slaw
The sort of Cole Slaw that isn’t happy about where it’s at but knows it’s not going to do anything about it.
Iowa: Ham
Pigs outnumber humans 4 to 1 in Iowa so yeah, ham is a side now.
Kansas: Starch
Not like potatoes, just pure goddamn starch. We aren’t even sure where they get it all, but everyone in Kansas has a tub full of it ready to go every Thanksgiving.
Kentucky: 150 Proof Gravy
Keep it away from open flame. More people die in gravy explosions in Kentucky every year than car accidents.
Louisiana: Dis Here Gumbo, Oh Ho Ho!
It can actually be anything, you just have to call it that in a Cajun accent.
Maine: Secrets
That’s right, in the state of Maine there is a full course of Thanksgiving dedicated to consuming the dark, terrible secrets hiding in the dark corners of their seemingly quaint small-town lives.
Maryland: Sea Turkey
It’s just more crab. The repackage it, call it “sea turkey” throw a pilgrim on the label and the entire state thinks they have something special.