25. Two Guys, a Girl, and a Pizza Place

This song might rank higher if it were longer and we could see where it goes. If you are going to be this brief in theme you need to have a grindcore-like intensity. Instead this song serves as an intro to a show, and probably a song that ends up sounding like a Pixies B-side. Listen here

24. Angel

Oh shit. We have a haunting string arrangement, guitars, and fast drums. But this isn’t a song you can actually “mosh” to. It’s more likely it would be played at a cyber-goth rave party. You can dance to it, but somehow the moves are still dumber looking than moshing. Listen here

23. Xena: Warrior Princess

Remember when ’80s hardcore bands started doing weird Krishna stuff? Well, you could almost mistake this theme song for those ’90s projects at first, but then it devolves into more orchestra stuff. The drums alone almost get you there though. Listen here

22. Spider-Man: The Animated Series

Apparently, this song was composed by Joe Perry of Aerosmith. This is the closest we’ve been to moshing so far. It has a guitar lick, it’s solid rock and roll, but it’s not enough to make you want to do a one-handed cartwheel into the soundguy. Listen here

21. Friends

“Friends” might be the least funny show of all time, but the lyrics to the theme song touch on some of the founding principles of hardcore like being there for your friends when they need you. In a different world this could be the official song of a violent hardcore crew. Listen here

20. Sailor Moon

While this might not be a hardcore anthem, you could repurpose half the lyrics and drop them into a hardcore song and nobody would know the difference. “She would never turn her back on a friend, she is always there to defend, she is the one on who we depend,” come on. Listen here

19. Charmed

“Charmed” is the first entry on this vast list that decided to cover a song for the show’s theme. And it’s a song by The Smiths, so we don’t have to feel bad about listening to Morrissey, but also The Smiths were never known for their mosh pits. Listen here 

18. Party of Five

This list would be much more entertaining if showrunners used ’90s hardcore bands instead of ’90s rock bands to make their themes. I could see this song start a very soft push pit between tipsy dads at a county fair, but it’s not going to make anyone put their fist through a wall. Listen here

17. Flash Forward

“Flash Forward” was a Disney Channel show that most people probably forgot about, but the theme is almost a punk song until it gets taken over by a harmonica player. Nobody has ever moshed to harmonica. Listen here

16. Suddenly Susan

The “Suddenly Susan” song sounds like it would be on a “Have Yourself a Punk Christmas” compilation, but it’s not a Christmas song, and it’s barely a punk song. This show is set in San Francisco so they should have used “Moon Over Marin.” Listen here

15. South Park

Can you mosh to Primus? Probably, but if you do you’re going to have some guy with a goatee mad at you. Anyway, the “South Park” theme has guest vocals by the characters and some of them are sort of yelled. Not exactly a mosh classic. Listen here

14. That ’70s show

Hey, this will make you feel old. “That ’70s Show” was set in ’76 and premiered in ’98. Which was a gap of 22 years. If they remade the show this year with the same time gap it would take place in 2001. This means it could have American Nightmare do the theme, but we could never be so lucky. Anyway, this Cheap Trick song “rocks” in dad way. Listen here

13. Home Improvement

The grunts in this theme song are actually pretty sick. The first half of the song actually hits pretty hard even if there is a lot of flute action. Adding the jackhammer toward the end is almost cheating to get me to mosh. We are so close. Listen here

12. The Adventures of Pete and Pete

I’m not moshing to this song, but I am moving around a lot. If I was watching this song live I’d hit at least two stage dives, maybe headwalk a little. The general vibe is too upbeat for moshing, but there is a loose definition of a pit being formed. But if Artie is in any pit then I’m taking that song off, dude is a beast. Listen here

11. Highlander

Screw it. I’m 100% moshing to parts of this song. Yes, it’s an ’80s metal ballad, and this genre of music was thoroughly killed by grunge, but I’m desperate here. Let’s go, we are tearing this place apart even if we look stupid. Listen here

10. X-Men: The Animated Series

Bring yourself back to being a kid, when this theme song hit you started bouncing off the walls. This is a full-blown charger from front to back. It’s not a mosh anthem in the purest sense, but it makes you feel something. There is also an obvious joke about having a straight edge band do the theme song, but we wasted that on “The X-Files.” Listen here

9. Daria

One of the most classic theme songs for any budding punk in the ’90s. You might not be throwing spin kicks, but you’re definitely doing that little slam dance where you shoulder check people during this song. Listen here

8. Eek! The Cat

Another nearly forgotten show, the first half of the intro has no music then it turns into an absolute whirlwind. This is a circle pit song, everyone is charging around at full speed and screaming “Eek” at random points for no reason. Hell yeah, we’re moshing. Listen here

7. The Drew Carey Show

Typically we’ve been using the “Season 1” version of songs for this list, but we have to break from that precedent here. “The Drew Carey Show” original theme is trash, the replacement theme by The Presidents of the United States of America is a solid punk song with a singalong part you would mosh to if you saw it live. Would we have preferred Ringworm playing the theme? Yes, but they were on hiatus when the show premiered. Listen here

6. Freaks and Geeks

Is it cheating to use one of Joan Jett and the Blackhearts best-known songs? Probably, but we don’t care. We sat through so many bullshit jazz themes that it took years off of our life. So yeah, we are absolutely moshing right now. Get in our way and pay the price. Listen here

5. King of the Hill

Here we go, the final five and what a way to kick it off. The song was written by The Refreshments and it’s a ripper. It has to be weird to have your most popular song be something played in front of a cartoon each week, but this is the closest we get to a breakdown on this entire list. We are moshing. Listen here

4. 90210

You might be asking yourself “How is this cheesy show making the top 4 in moshability?” Go listen to the track. Overall it’s pretty corny, but it has more legit mosh parts than most of this list could wish to have, even with the saxophone solo. Listen here

3. Dragon Ball Z

We wouldn’t be surprised if every single band at next year’s Knotfest decided to cover this song. It’s got elements of speed metal, with a bit of nu-metal splashed in there, but either way it’s going to make you act like a bit of meathead. Listen here

2. Mighty Morphin Power Rangers

The opening of this song is legitimate thrash metal. Municipal Waste could play that riff while calling for a circle pit and you would have no idea it was lifted from a ’90s kids show. If the vocals were more raw this might get the top spot. Listen Here

1. Buffy the Vampire Slayer

And we’ve made it to the final entry. It starts with a pick slide and then rips the entire way through. The song is performed by Nerf Herder and is without a doubt the most mosh-worthy theme song of the ’90s.  Like most people, you probably tackled your dad during these opening credits at least once. Listen here

And there we have it. Did we miss a theme song that you think needs to be on the list? Let us know.

Photo by Matt Gill.