TRENTON, N.J. — Local virtual dominatrix Vixen Velvetlash was caught on Zoom wearing pants, shocking the BDSM community, confirmed disappointed sources.
“I feel violated and humiliated, but not in a good or sexual way,” said Armaan Fuller, Velvetlash’s sub who was on the call. “I was in the middle of putting my nipple clamps on and I just happened to look back at my screen through my gimp mask. And I saw my master stand up from her computer chair wearing a very comfortable-looking pair of grey sweatpants. She even had a pair of Lilo and Stitch slippers on. I couldn’t even look at her after that and not just because she makes me punch myself in the balls every time I do.”
Since the encounter, Velvetlash issued numerous formal apologies to both Fuller and the fetish community as a whole.
“I’m so ashamed,” said Velvetlash while searching Amazon for latex sweatpants. “Moving forward, I promise never to make my clients feel like their humiliation isn’t my sole focus when we have a session. And I am taking concrete steps to right this wrong. For instance, I promise to minimize all online poker games I have running on my computer during all dom interactions and I will move my computer so that my roommate won’t accidentally walk through the background at any point.”
However, the consequences of this incident have not just been experienced within the BDSM community, as ripple effects travel throughout daily life.
“We’re all trying to figure out what the ramifications will be,” said Clara Kaufman, a spokesperson for the Federal Communications Commission. “Normally, people fill out a form anytime they see something vaguely offensive, but this is the opposite problem, which is better than what we usually get, but it’s just kind of annoying that we have to write a new form letter saying we can’t do anything about people on the internet not being inappropriate enough.”
Despite the apologies, Velvetlash decided to move entirely to text, a decision many suspect was taken so the dominatrix can watch Netflix while working.