PHILADELPHIA – A groundbreaking thought experiment shows that Schrödinger’s Boys have apparently returned to town while simultaneously enjoying the delights of the countryside, according to confused sources in both areas.
“I heard that those wild-eyed Shrödinger Boys came back and were seen in downtown Philly yesterday,” said one source down at Dino’s Bar and Grill, granted anonymity for fear of them crazy cats spilling blood. “But then my friend out in Lancaster said he saw [the boys] visiting an Amish market at the same time. Eerie, huh? I’m not sure how they could simultaneously be both something and not. Man, we just fell about the place, hearing that. Now I gotta wonder how all the Boys’ cats are doing.”
One chick who was “cool” but also “red hot” reportedly danced with at least one of the Boys.
“I was on the floor at Dino’s, dancing and shaking what I got, like I do every night, when I swear I saw at least a few of those boys walk in. I actually ended up going home with one of them – I think his name was Johnny, so he was definitely around until I slapped him for getting handsy,” said the chick while chain-smoking outside her apartment complex. “Then this morning I heard all this junk about him never being in town in the first place! I don’t see how that’s possible. And frankly, I don’t want to know.”
Johnny Rankler, one of the leaders of the Boys, declined to say where he was or where he could be found, or anything about his whereabouts at all.
“I don’t know that I have much to say. I mean, us boys haven’t really changed. I just remember being out of town, driving around, dressed to kill as usual. The nights are getting warmer and we just figured we’d all head out of town and buy some honey from those horse and buggy country fellas,” said Rankler. “Next thing I know I’m getting all these texts asking what I’m doing at Dino’s hogging the jukebox all night, playing the same song over and over again. As if I could explain that! And that chick who says she slapped me? She drives everybody crazy. Forget her.”
As of press time, the boys were apparently Irish nationals all along.