LOS ANGELES — Local parents Greg and Linda Dwyer reportedly continue to dismiss their son’s filmmaking career by referring to his critically-lauded work as “his little movies,” despite him winning an Academy Award for Best Live Action Short Film for “The Unturned Stone,” confirmed sources.
“Oh, he’s still doing that? I’m happy for him, but it’s not like he made a Marvel movie. I can’t find his movies on Netflix,” said the father of two, standing in a kitchen cluttered with unread rave reviews of his son’s film he had sent them. “All I am saying is that it is never too late to apply to law school and make his little movies on the side. I just don’t know how winning the Audience Award at the Toronto Film Festival is going to pay the electric bill.”
Their son, now Oscar-winning filmmaker, Alan Dwyer, immediately returned to his childhood home from the ceremony, where his mother expressed confusion over his continued pursuit of filmmaking instead of settling down.
“I walked through the front door holding a literal Academy Award—the most famous trophy in the world of filmmaking and my mom told me she texted my ex Rachel to let her know I was in town,’” Alan said from his childhood bedroom surrounded by posters of his favorite filmmakers. “My dad said, ‘Neat,’ and let me know the compliance office at his old company is hiring and that I need to start ‘pounding the pavement,’ whatever that means. I literally had drinks with Bong Joon-ho last night!”
Experts say this phenomenon is common among parents of artists, regardless of achievement.
“Many parents fundamentally struggle to recognize creative success unless it results in an easily explainable career and steady paycheck,” said Dr. Madeline Choi, a cinema psychologist at the UCLA film school. “They don’t view ‘Best Short Film’ as a legitimate Oscar because it isn’t something that is played 13 times a day on TBS or sold in a bargain bin at Walmart next to ‘The Hangover 3.’ If want your parents to notice you, you’ll have to try a little harder than making a brilliant 26-minute long cinematic short that captivates the world.”
At press time, Mr. and Mrs. Dwyer were seen explaining to a neighbor that their son “is still finding himself,” while asking if their daughter, a real estate agent, can help get Alan’s foot in the door.