WASHINGTON — Local punk exorcist Benicio “Scary” Scaramucci admitted he didn’t see any problems with the sinister child threatening nuns and puking everywhere when asked…
PROVIDENCE, R.I. — 34-year-old Ryan Kirkpatrick experienced the thrill of a lifetime when three different people simultaneously reviewed his cover letter in a Google document,…
PALM BEACH, Fla. — East coast Floridians are excited about a new Spirit Halloween opening up at the “old Mar-a-Lago” following supposedly false rumors that…
CHICAGO — Mcdonald’s is finally honoring beloved musician Wesley Willis by announcing he would be the face of their latest celebrity meal, which is expected…
CHARLESTON, S.C. — Former singer Jane “Skuz” McMillan of punk band Capitalfister became irate when an appraiser broke the news that her band’s old show…
WASHINGTON – Several members of the Supreme Court reportedly come together to form a pact, vowing to always be friends no matter what and to…
SEATTLE – Tyler Moss, the frontman of up-and-coming local grunge revival band Bent Angles raised quite a few eyebrows after suddenly exiting the band and…
MENOMONEE FALLS, Wis. — Local youngster Phoebe Flax, age 9, is reportedly selling loose cigarettes alongside her delicious lemonade, according to teenagers enjoying the smooth,…
WABASH, Ind. — Guests of a recent keg party almost had their good time ruined after avowed musical theater freak Andy “Pipes” Schiller showed up…
AUSTIN – Veteran MMA commentator and comedian Joe Rogan steered his podcast conversation from his guest’s earnest discussion of mortality to talking about how strong…
SALEM, Ore. — Local punk Trent Jackson planned to attend the state fair “ironically” this weekend, making it the seventh year in a row he’s…
Fox News hosted the first Republican presidential primary last night where eight of the worst people you could ever meet took the stage to prove…
CLAREMONT, Calif. — University student Lisa Dempsey discovered the latter half of her boyfriend’s copy of David Foster Wallace’s titanic novel “Infinite Jest” to be…
HAMELIN, Germany — Local residents awoke to the horrifying sight of thousands of filthy rats being led back into the center of town by the…
MESA, Ariz. — A waiter’s routine check-in interrupted Ashleigh Firio stuffing six inches of cock in her mouth during a date night with her boyfriend…