LOS ANGELES – Director David Fincher admits he feels honored to be one of the filmmakers influencing another generation of shitty dudes with his most…
Ever since the little blue creatures originally known as “Les Schtroumpfs” were introduced in a Belgian comic book for weirdos in 1958, humanity has had…
KENT, Conn. — Former diplomat, and noted war criminal, Henry Kissinger died at his home yesterday reportedly of a broken heart brought on by the…
CHICAGO — Local woman Jenna Morris was thrilled to discover that her Spotify Wrapped did not contain any traces of Bo Burnham’s “Inside” this year…
SAN DIEGO – Local man Colin Rafferty found a way to break up the soul-crushing monotony of living his creative dreams by taking on a…
WASHINGTON — Embattled Congressman George Santos says he is not worried about his future as a politician and that he is already shifting gears to…
PITTSBURGH — Local punk Wade Franklin discovered an ingenious method of protecting his home by hiding his spare house key under a possum that died…
FREEHOLD, N.J. — 52-year-old Hank Quinn’s political opinions have swung violently to the center after being exposed to a non-stop barrage of New York Times…
WASHINGTON — A recent study from the National Endowment for the Arts confirmed U.S. fathers zip through the nation’s art museums in an average of…
WASHINGTON — Local indecisive man Ed Treston spent 45 minutes on Friday night selecting a t-shirt that will never be seen once covered by his…
LOS ANGELES — Exclusive insider reports revealed that the eleventh film in the “Saw” franchise will feature Jigsaw torturing his victims by strapping them into…
TALLAHASSEE, Fla. — Florida Governor and Republican Presidential Candidate, Ron DeSantis, promised that, if elected, he would change the fifty stars section of the American…
DENVER — Local mom Carla Bogerton’s newfound acceptance of cannabis is reportedly ruining the fun of slipping away from the Thanksgiving table to smoke a…
JERUSALEM — The Israeli government and Hamas agreed to a humanitarian ceasefire after the IDF realized needed time to receive more missiles from the United…
ANAHEIM, Calif. – A pair of local hardcore lovebirds announced they reached the Disneyland stage of their relationship after several months of courtship, confirmed sources…