Winter is a magical time of year, but the best part of the season is the fact you can wear so many layers of clothes…
DETROIT — A mixture of ridicule and disgust caused local man Derek Jones to announce his new mustache is not a serious endeavor and is…
ST. LOUIS – The local underground noise scene is reportedly bringing positive momentum to the trans rights movement at a substantially quicker pace than every…
It’s safe to say that everyone at this tattoo convention can agree that the body is a blank canvas. Some go with designs that are…
CINCINNATI — Dinosaur experts gathering for the annual Society of Vertebrate Paleontology conference made the surprising announcement that they still can’t explain how the prehistoric…
DUBAI — Attendees of the COP28 Climate Summit set aside the solutions to impending climate catastrophe after being dazzled by the inclusion of an ostentatious…
PORTLAND, Ore. — Local crust punk Rusty Steinman reportedly multiplied at a rapid rate after coming into direct contact with water, confirmed weirded out sources.…
What’s better than sitting down in front of your state-of-the-art 4K television with a premiere sound system and watching a film from the Criterion Collection?…
NEW YORK — Spotify CEO Daniel Ek announced that the company would be laying off one-sixth of its workforce, though affected employees were offered an…
SEATTLE — Local 52-year-old man and longtime vegan James McMorgan is reportedly furious that the currently available meat alternatives kind of taste halfway decent now,…
SEATTLE — Local man Tom Perry was absolutely disgusted after he learned he spent roughly 30 seconds rocking out to a Spotify ad for “Dude…
FREDERICK, Md. – A local movie theater recently removed the front rows of seats so the throngs of attending dads could watch “Napoleon” while standing…
WASHINGTON — A new press release from the APA updated the definition of normal psychological well-being to better reflect the realities of life in the…
Kid Rock Wins Creepy Talent Show After Reciting Verbatim Every Age of Consent Law From All 50 States
Kid Rock Wins Creepy Talent Show After Reciting Verbatim Every Age of Consent Law From All 50 States
WACO, Texas. — Kid Rock was announced as the winner of a local talent show that catered to creeps after he recited the age of…
BALTIMORE — Volunteers with the organization People for the Ethical Treatment of Acoustics (PETA (But Not Assholes)) recently rescued a badly mistreated Yamaha acoustic guitar…