LAS VEGAS — The promoters for the buzzworthy music festival The Good Old Days are extremely excited for the amazing lineup to blow the minds…
SEATTLE — Punk web designer Priscilla Prange published a new Chrome extension that stops Google from asking if you want to kill yourself every time…
CHATSWORTH, Calif. — Lucky Luke’s Powersports, Southern California’s number one motorcycle dealership, announced a new package that includes huge savings on a casket with each…
PORTLAND, Ore. — Local 42-year-old Mitch Hensley, a self-proclaimed supporter of the Portland scene, is concerned that he has already given the best excuses he…
BALTIMORE — Local mother and lifelong punk Sherri Dalton reportedly brought her 11-year-old son to a DIY concert this weekend to shop for new clothes,…
RICHMOND — Local Improv Coach Amanda Paulson is struggling to reconcile her mother’s maternal dedication to her household plants, according to sources. “Growing up, my…
HUNTINGDON, Pa. — Local homeless man Scotty Yarborough is actively preparing for the end of spring semester at Juniata College where he expects to be…
ATLANTA — New data from DraftKings indicates mathcore band The Callous Daoboys are an unlikely favorite to make it to next year’s Super Bowl, while…
RICHFIELD, Minn. — Foot traffic at a local Walmart store has dropped off significantly after one of its greeters, unapologetic punk Steve McKenzie, has turned…
ANN ARBOR, Mich. — Sociologists at the University of Michigan have discovered a shocking correlation between Binaca use and an upcoming date with a smoking…
BOSTON — Local liberal Brian Mullins, who is boycotting any company that he sees as supporting a fascist regime, spends all of his free time…
LAFAYETTE, Ind. — Local dad Sean Nolan is once again using a weird, unexpected, and previously nonexistent slang term for his penis in casual conversation,…
WASHINGTON — President Donald Trump debuted a completely new pronunciation of the holiday “Cinco De Mayo” while addressing local reporters at the White House today,…
SAN LUIS OBISPO, Calif. — Local man Travis Anders recently listened to all 15 Genesis albums while waiting for a chance to back out of…
SACRAMENTO, Calif. — Local 13-year-old Elliot Johnson was reportedly crossing his fingers today hoping that his dad would never come back after heading out for…