LOS ANGELES — MTV announced the latest edition to their famed “Unplugged” series will showcase “Ridiculousness” host Rob Dyrdek learning the acoustic guitar, giddy network executives confirmed.
“It was an easy choice,” programming director Cal Berry said while chomping on an unlit cigar. “There is no better way to rejuvenate this respected platform than to have Rob show off what he’s learned from watching a couple Marty Schwartz tutorials. It technically does check off the boxes for both ‘music’ and ‘television,’ so we’re good. Rob has been super excited because he picked up his guitar at a local Goodwill and saved a bunch of money buying it used. I can tell you this, I’ve watched some of his rehearsals and this might be the greatest entry in the ‘Unplugged’ series yet. Move over Pearl Jam, out of the way Nirvana, it’s time for Rob Dyrdek.”
Audience members, however, weren’t pleased, in part because they arrived expecting to watch a taping of “Ridiculousness” only to have the rug pulled out from under them.
“We watched the guy thumb his way through the same four buzzy, half-muted chords for an hour, and I kept wondering when he was going to play a video of a kid on a hoverboard dropping a full pizza pie into the dirt,” Mike Conner said afterward with a thousand-yard stare. “We kept waiting for the show to start, but whenever he put the guitar down, he would just walk over to his hat rack to put on a new flat brim, and Chanel West Coast would clap and laugh like a seal. Then he’d rub his hands together and sit back down on the stool to continue his C, F, G and A minor routine. At least he mixed up the order. So there’s that. But still, terrible all around.”
Dyrdek admits he is proud of the special and excited to see it air.
“It was tight. Real cool. I was out there doing my thing, a little of this, a little of that. You feel me?” Dyrdek said. “My fingers were cooked after, but I can’t complain. This business is hard work. It’s not all reading a teleprompter and saying ‘Oh, damn’ after watching someone get hit in the nuts with a pickleball paddle. I already feel like learning some new shit in case we run it back. Apparently Slash has some chords named after him? That’s so sick. I’ll hit him up.”
At press time, MTV announced that Dyrdek has been nominated for Best New Artist at the VMAs.