AUSTIN, Texas — Hardcore band Mindforce appeared on the Joe Rogan Experience podcast after they were mistaken for a brain-boosting supplement, according to confused, kettlebell-curling sources.
“We were psyched to be getting that kind of exposure,” said Mindforce singer Jay Petagine. “But once the interview started, it was pretty clear a mistake had been made. He started asking us about whether our product was organic and if it could help with focus for bow hunting. We said we’re a band, not a vitamin company. He looked confused, and then launched into some boilerplate Rogan schtick about gut biomes, then the conversation transitioned to him asking us if we think a chimp could fuck up an orca or if they’d be friends. Eventually, he and I bonded over kickboxing and that pretty much saved the episode.”
Joe Rogan himself claims that the booking was intentional, and that he’s a big fan of hardcore music.
“I love that shit, you kidding me?” said Rogan while doing a cold plunge inside a sauna. “Hell yeah, I want to have more hardcore bands on the show. I used to be into all those heavy groups like Godsmack, Disturbed and Papa Roach. Roaches, man… have you ever really thought about cockroaches? They’re the craziest motherfuckers in the world. It’s wild that you’ve got these little armored creatures that can survive a nuclear war running around people’s kitchens at night, trying to find crumbs while they wait for their chance to take over. I saw this video where some scientists put a little circuit board on a cockroach and controlled it like a robot. Jamie, pull that up.”
Seasoned talent booking agent Lester Stetson says that blunders like this are bound to happen once in a while, but can be avoided.
“Research!” said the chain-smoking, polyester-clad Stetson. “You’ve always got to do your research. A little due diligence can easily prevent this sort of fiasco. This reminds me of the time Dick Cavett had the band The Stooges on, thinking they were the Three Stooges. All of Dick’s prepared questions were in regard to pie fights and their vaudeville days. Even more embarrassing was when Regis and Kathie Lee booked some knucklehead named GG Allin instead of Steve Allen. They were scrubbing excrement out of the set for weeks!”
At press time, it was reported that Judd Apatow accidentally invited Joe Rogan to his birthday party when he’d intended to invite longtime friend Seth Rogen.