Arielle Andreano
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BANGOR, Maine. — Local community organizers recently announced the formation of a support group for music lovers who cannot stop…
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Nathan Kamal
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SEATTLE— 42-year-old insurance adjuster Marc Barron was recently whisked away to Pibbapalooza, a magical world in which the 1990s never…
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PALM BEACH, Fla. — Former President Trump drew the ire of the worldwide population after posting “I HATE MOO DENG”…
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Dan Kozuh
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NAPERVILLE, Ill. — Local man Brian Langley, who often proclaims he “likes all music except country and rap,” is reportedly…
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Matt Husser
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HADDONFIELD, Ill. — The National Rifle Association rushed to Michael Myers’ defense today after the famed “Halloween” slasher started killing…
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NEW YORK — Minnesota Governor and Vice President nominee Tim Walz was asked about conflicting statements and timelines surrounding his…
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Nathan Kamal
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PHILADELPHIA — Local man Duncan Jackson remains utterly unaware that he is the manager of his friend’s band Black Lab…
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Tim Sheard
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NEW YORK — Vice Presidential candidate Tim Walz recently revealed that he has been practicing for the debate with J.D.…
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Neel Bhakta
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CHICAGO — Exasperated cardiologist Dr. Everett Johnston is struggling to explain to his math rock guitarist patient that an arrhythmia,…
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Zachary Wolf
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RAPID CITY, S.D. — Local punk venue The Pukebox has somehow invented the world’s first “no-ply” toilet paper as a…
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