Trevor Graham
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MASSAPEQUA, N.Y. — Families with young children across the country announced their plans to find you in a restaurant and…
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Patrick Crooks
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SAEGERTOWN, Pa. — Local punk Brian McFee assured everyone that his newfound wealth would have no impact on his worldview…
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PORTLAND, Ore. — White progressive voters across the country announced they were excited by how many different races, genders, and…
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Kyle Donley
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APPLETON, Wis. — Local woman Allyson Boyle was completely turned off after discovering that her date Doug Innis referred to…
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Ben Friedman
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ST. PAUL, Minn. — A lineup of bands playing at popular punk house Chalet Cretin has been quickly re-billed as…
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WASHINGTON — Members of the Kamala Harris campaign admit they were deeply troubled by the complete lack of dead people…
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WASHINGTON — The leaders of the Democratic National Committee announced they plan to learn absolutely nothing from their embarrassing loss…
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Max Barth
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WEST CHESTER, Penn. — Local Trump supporter Stephen Hall confirmed that he is happy about Trump’s win, but is a…
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Tim Graham
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BINGHAMTON, N.Y. – Local World War II enthusiast Edward Spencer says he is looking forward to witnessing the rise of…
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Rob Ryder
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RICHMOND, Va. — Trey Bollinger, proud owner of a $91,273 Chevy Silverado 3500 HD, accused Tesla Cybertruck owners of being…
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