Neel Bhakta
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October 1, 2024
CHICAGO — Exasperated cardiologist Dr. Everett Johnston is struggling to explain to his math rock guitarist patient that an arrhythmia,…
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Zachary Wolf
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September 30, 2024
RAPID CITY, S.D. — Local punk venue The Pukebox has somehow invented the world’s first “no-ply” toilet paper as a…
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Joe Rumrill
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September 30, 2024
ANAHEIM, Calif. — Local deadbeat Griffin Carson adopted the stance of vinyl-only “audiophile” coinciding with his ex-girlfriend’s understandable decision to…
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Ben Friedman
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September 29, 2024
MINNEAPOLIS — Local highly-observant man Gavin Wells recently started to sincerely wish he was dumb enough to experience genuine happiness,…
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Matt Husser
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September 29, 2024
FOLSOM, Calif. — Country singer Carlson Swagger brought his cowboy bootlickin’ brand of lawful country music to Folsom Prison today…
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Steve Packosky
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September 28, 2024
WASHINGTON — Ohio senator and vice presidential hopeful J.D. Vance is enjoying a high favorability rating from men who misconstrue…
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Courtney Hill
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September 22, 2024
HAGERSTOWN, Md. — Local millennial Cassie Dunbar recently reached the very last Zillow listing and immediately pivoted to scrolling through…
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Sean Fallon
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September 21, 2024
BOCA RATON, Fla. — Conservative podcaster Ben Shapiro called for a boycott of Zoltar machines after his wish to become…
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Colleen Nerney
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September 20, 2024
ALBANY, N.Y. — Local woman Andrea Wellson is reportedly considering a risky and in-depth plan to commit identity theft to…
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Zac Lux
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September 19, 2024
ATLANTA — The well-played guitar of local man Cody Marksen entered its next chapter as a wall decoration in his…
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