Matt Husser
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BOSTON — Mark Wahlberg sparked controversy after claiming that Elon Musk's botched penis implant “wouldn't have gone down like that”…
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BALTIMORE — Corey Cruz, drummer of hardcore band Maximum Output, reportedly told lead singer Devin Altman to please put his…
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Ben Friedman
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WASHINGTON — White House Economic Advisor Peter Navarro aggressively challenged a report detailing the country's negative GDP growth during the…
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Alec Walker
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CHARLESTON, S.C. — Local gym rat and self-proclaimed doomsday prepper Brock Crocker is really hoping that the next new world…
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Violet Meeker
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BROOKLYN, N.Y. — An Ira Glass lookalike contest was held at a Yo La Tengo concert this week, confirmed sources…
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Jonah Nink
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CHICAGO — Local woman Wendy Sachs felt “incredibly lucky” to hear the worst cover of Fleetwood Mac’s “Dreams” ever written…
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Doug Kolic
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MODESTO, Calif. — A local arsonist who torched a brand new Cybertruck as it sat on the lot of a…
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Doug Kolic
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OKLAHOMA CITY — Scientists announced that the ashes of a cremated punk were so toxic that it would likely poison…
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Tim Graham
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ABILENE, Texas — Local school sports fan Steven Flick will no longer offer his support if there’s a chance he…
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Max Barth
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WASHINGTON — Justices of the Supreme Court announced that they will release their opinions early to select subscribers of a…
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