Holden Klym
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WASHINGTON — Elon Musk’s team at the Department of Government Efficiency (DOGE) launched a GoFundMe campaign to raise money for…
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Ryan Danley
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TUCSON, Ariz. — A local ICE agent’s wife Karen Wilkins is really hoping her own family gets torn apart, after…
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Shane Pauker
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OAKLAND, Calif. — Concertgoer Seth Mosley had no choice but to chew off his own foot after it got stuck…
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FRANKFORT, Ky. — Oft-succumbing and soon-dying United States senator Mitch McConnell revealed his post-political plans of destroying all the houses…
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Ben Friedman
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CHARLESTON, S.C. — MAGA devotees united in shock and outrage in protests across the country after local woman Helen Graves…
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Nick Conway
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LOS ANGELES — The producers of the hit reality dating show “Love Island” announced a punk spin-off titled “Promiscuous Warehouse,”…
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Tim Graham
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AMHERST, Mass. — Serial public masturbator Aaron Goddard received an unexpected education in progressive politics when he wandered into a…
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Dan Kozuh
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CHICAGO — Local baseball fans and metalheads discovered that they shared an affinity to drink in parking lots, while one…
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Tyler Roland
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MANZANITA, Ore. — Local couple Jon and Kelsey Hangman recently became the parents of a child who somehow was born…
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Josh Baumgart
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AUSTIN, Texas — Members of the jangle pop quartet Pine Box announced the addition of a second bassist, known mononymously…
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