WASHINGTON — The National Institute of Mental Health (NIMH) revealed that ICE agents just aren’t killing themselves, despite being complete…
Read More →
LOS ANGELES — Streaming giant Amazon Prime announced today the upcoming release of "I’m The One," an alternate-history series that…
Read More →
Zachary Wolf
•
HONOLULU — Local skateboarding bulldog Excalibur reportedly pushes the board with his back legs instead of his front ones like…
Read More →
Zack Zagranis
•
BOSTON — Middle-aged punk Mickey “Goatfucker” Sullivan never thought that swallowing several pills at once would be the most mundane…
Read More →
Charles Bill
•
CHARLOTTESVILLE, Va. — Local landlord Larry McNulty was compelled to raise rent to cover the ever-rising cost of never doing…
Read More →
NEW YORK — Random House Children’s Books official reissue of the long-dismissed 1991 Dr. Seuss manuscript “Oh, The Ways You’re…
Read More →
SIMSBURY, Conn. — Local straight edge high schoolers recently stated that their commitment to living a drug- and alcohol-free lifestyle…
Read More →
Ryan Dondero
•
ANN ARBOR, Mich. — A new study from the University of Michigan revealed that you can basically just walk out…
Read More →
CLEVELAND, Ohio — Punk stalwart Dave “Mel-Mel” Ryans made the switch from the popular malt liquor Steel Reserve, sometimes known…
Read More →
Dicky Stock
•
PALM BEACH, Fla. — Despite existing only as a series of crudely sketched plans on cocktail napkins and one AI-generated…
Read More →
