Louis CK has returned to the stage and the internet is predictably ablaze. Rather than participate in the spectacle with a click grabbing hot take on the issue we’ve decided to take the high road and not weigh in at all. It is not the place of the media to tell you what to think or how to feel.
Just kidding, here’s a whole bunch of hot takes on Louis CK. The best ones are at the bottom where the ads are, keep scrolling.
- You may not respect the man Louie CK but you WILL respect the office he holds
- The only way to stop a bad Louis CK with a dick is a good Louie CK with a dick
- While Louie CK returned to comedy children in Flint Michigan still had no safe drinking water
- Hear me out: All we need to do to get even is show Louis CK as many vaginas as possible
- No one should be able to sweep this kind of behavior under the rug without ties to the Hearst family
- Hilary Clinton jerked off on just as many people as Louis CK
- Louis CK Reboot Should have been Recast with a Woman
- If we’re going to let Louis CK back into comedy after doing what he did to those women, then what’s stopping me from getting my job in HR back?
- Mexican immigrant Louis CK is proof we need the wall
- If Louis CK was serious about redemption he would have returned to comedy in a roast battle
- Excusing Louis CK’s Behavior Is A Slippery Slope Towards Me Jerking Off On A Mall Bench
- According to Jordan Peterson there is no proof that not jerking off in front of female comics works
- Any website that makes light of Louis Ck via hot takes should be boycotted right alongside him
- Louie CK should not be able to return to stand-up until we know he’s all cummed out
- How would you like it if I started masturbating in front of you? Yes? No? Maybe?
- Are You Ready to Forgive Louis CK? Read to Find Out
- Louis CK should be praised for taking up George Carlins rigorous jerk-off schedule
- The snowflake generation needs to learn how to take a joke
- Louis CK would have been Hitler’s favorite comedian
- Louis CK is funny enough to jerk off on whoever or whatever he wants
- Before you attack me for defending Louis CK consider this: I don’t know what words mean
- Louis CK is not funny at all and should never be allowed to jerk off, ever
- Louie CK is kind of funny sometimes and should certainly be permitted to jerk off in moderation but certainly never on unwilling participants
- So we’re just allowing gingers into comedy, now?
- If we don’t let Louis CK back into comedy, what middle aged male comedian is going to tell us how bad their penis
- Louis CK is a disgrace but here’s 5 reasons he would be a Hufflepuff
- Louie CK is Qanon
- Donald Trump has every right to Pardon Louis CK
- We should have teachers with Louis CK’s dick in their desks in every school in America
- We went to Louie CK’s first show in 9 months and we’re VICE and we’re fucking awesome
- Why Louie CK NEEDS to direct the remake of Last Jedi
- It’s a little tasteless to leave Louis CK in Super Smash Bros. Ultimate
- Russian hackers
- I don’t forgive Louie CK but it’s time we give the dozens male comedians who don’t jack off in front of people a chance
- I’m not willing to forgive male comedians for sexual misconduct until John Mulaney does something
- Louis CK’s daughter are crisis actors
- Lucky Louie was way funnier than Louie anyways
- He was never fat enough to tell a lot of those fat jokes
- Finally I know how long I should be upset at Charlie Rose, Tom Brokaw, Harvey Weinstein, and hundreds of others before I can welcome them back
- Ben Shapiro just DESTROYED The Comic Who Says She Doesn’t Want to See Her Coworker’s Dick
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Lets just call this what it is: kink shaming
- Louis CK sperm isn’t hot enough to melt steel beams
- When Louie jerked off about how talented AND smart he was on Louie you assholes were silent
- There is nothing funny about the Louie Ck situation
- White people need to stop calling the cops on every Louis CK they see
- Louis CK’s comeback takes gigs away from lesser known abusive comics
- Louis CK is a false flag operation
- Fluoride in the water makes you not forgive Louis CK
- Try to see both sides of the issue: he really wanted to jerk off at those times and in front of those people
- Wait Calvin Klein does comedy?
- As a christian I am compelled to turn the other cheek and as a monster Louis CK is compelled to cum on that cheek
- Louis CK didn’t do anything with his penis that Gallagher hasn’t been doing with a watermelon and a large hammer for decades
- When you don’t think about Louis CK is the real victim
- But her emails!
- If what Louis CK did was wrong I better lay low for a while
- Dems keep falling for the Louis CK trap
- Louis CK is co-opting angry young men
- Banning Louis CK from comedy will cost taxpayers more in the long run
- Arizona voters need to stop quoting Louis CK itchy asshole routine
- The travesty that is Louis CKs inevitable Joe Rogan appearance
- Millennials agree: If Louis CK was really seeking redemption he would have turned to Christ months ago
- Why Louis CK needs to stop doing comedy and start running for president
- Louis CK just unleashed his very bad opinion on Louis CK
- Gun control
- John McCain’s decision to die before Louis CK’s return was cowardly
- Shouldn’t you be watching Crazy Rich Asians?
- Louis CK’s return proves we need a Space Force
- If a woman did what Louis CK did people would be reacting very differently
- Millennials are killing the “forgive me for sexual assault” industry
- Louis CK should have to start at the bottom, for example the bar show I book
- Why Louis Ck will make the perfect Lando Calrissian
- Let’s call the Dali Lama’s stance on Louis CK what it is: Silent Consent
- Louis CK: Radical Islam’s secret weapon
- I may not agree with Louis CK but I will fight to the death for his right to masturbate on non consenting strangers
- It’s time for Louis CK to step down and allow a second white man to become successful in comedy
- It’s time to forget Louis CK and let another white comic use the n-word on stage
- Send us your most epic takedown of Louis CK for a chance to win free Morrissey tickets
- I expect better of the Comedy Cellar because I am completely unfamiliar with that club and their general vibe
- If Louis CK wan’t a comedian and was The Mountain Goats instead and didn’t jerk off in front of people no one would be upset
- It would be wrong to use this anti-Louis CK thinkpiece to plug my twitter (@danricecomedy dm for avails)
- Louis CK should never have returned to the stage without returning to twitter first
- Michael Che has to read this whole stupid list now because i just wrote “Michael Che”
- While I agree that what Louis CK did was wrong it’s no excuse to stop calling him Daddy
- Sarah Silverman is hurting feminism by having her own opinion
- You know Bill Maher still has a fucking TV show, right?
- Just admit it: masturbation is a myth
- Stop making light of Louis CK’s undeserved return with your jokes
- It was wrong of Disney to give Guardians of the Galaxy 3 to Louis CK
- No one complained when Jim Gaffigan masturbated on people just because he’s white, famous and never did that
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This is all a part of his humiliation fetish
- If Louis CK could please stop claiming Mexican heritage we would appreciate it; you might have noticed things are not so great for us at the moment
- I bet you fucks really regret getting “Maron” cancelled now, huh?
- Louis CK is just Bill Hicks for college freshmen
- Louie CK is turning the frogs gay
- Louis CK is what happens when you give every child a trophy for best apology
- It’s no coincidence that the CIA was executing a war game scenario in which Louis CK jerked off on people the same day he did it
- It’s time for Louis CK to come back, to before he was a creep
- The real vitim here is the comic who had to go on right after Louis CK’s comeback set
- The fact that he came back totally ripped and hot is just an added insult
- No one is talking about the comedians Louie CK jerked off on who are now very successful
- All would be forgiven if Louie CK would just wash his fucking hands
- We use completely unbiased journalism tactics to investigate Louis CK opinions that are very bad
- I’m a very lonely person
- Why didn’t he just jerk off on the subway like a normal New Yorker?
- If Louis CK is so problematic, why do I, a white man of all people, think he’s funny?
- Louis CK is a Soros-funded conspiracy to make male college freshmen assholes
- We need to hold male comedians who hate their children to a higher standard
- This would never have happened in a communist soceity
- Jen Kirkman never actually confirmed she was talking about Louis
- Ok, ok, but what if the only way to stop an imminent terrorist attack was to jerk off in front of a woman and there was no time to get her consent?
- Yes, Louis Ck made a mistake. But how long are we going to not punish him for it?
- You are angry, intelligent, and ready to purchase a wide variety of products and services
- Doubling down: It’s time to forgive Bill Cosby
- It’s time to talk about how dope the Louie theme song was
- It’s time we stop excluding Louis CK’s stumpy, gross hands from their own masturbatory narrative
- Don’t call it a comeback because that makes us think of Louis CK cumming
- Over sensitivity in millennials is killing comedy and Louis CK’s erection
- Louie CK’s return to comedy seems self-serving and masturbatory
- As an up and coming comedian named KC Lewis (check website for dates), I’m outraged at Louis CK’s return
- It’s time Louis CK responds to the rumor that he jerked off on James Gunn that we just started
- Instead of masturbating Louis CK should have just morphed his head into a wolf and howled at women to express his arousal
- We need to find out what Pamela Adlon knew and when she knew it
- We need to reject Louis CK the comedian and embrace Louis CK the musician
- Fuck It, Louie CK killed JonBenet Ramsey and the ads at the bottom of this article can prove it
- If Louis CK was serious about redemption he would have started doing improv