Urban life has its ups and downs. On one hand, you can find something cool to do almost every night of the week. But then again, you can find 5 annoying people on every single corner.
Nowhere is the city experience more difficult than on a city subway. On our way to work, we sat down next to and chatted with the guy who blasts his Bluetooth speaker on 10 the whole ride instead of just using headphones like a reasonable human being.
THE HARD TIMES: Hey man, can you turn that down? I can’t even hear my podcast in my earbuds.
SPEAKER GUY: What??
Yeah, exactly. Your speaker is so loud, it’s wildly inconsiderate to everyone else around you.
I can’t hear you man.
Yes, we fucking know. NO ONE CAN HEAR SHIT BECAUSE YOU ARE BLASTING REGGAETON SO LOUD, IT SOUNDS LIKE BLACK METAL. WHY CAN’T YOU JUST USE HEADPHONES?
NAH, I HATE HEADPHONES. THEY SUCK AND HURT MY EARS AFTER A WHILE. THIS IS BETTER.
NO, IT ISN’T. IT SOUNDS LIKE SHIT. YOU CAN’T EVEN HEAR THE BASS. IT WOULD GENUINELY SOUND BETTER TO YOU IF YOU JUST WORE HEADPHONES. YOU JUST HAVEN’T FOUND THE RIGHT PAIR YET.
PEOPLE LIKE WHEN I PLAY MUSIC, EVERYONE GETS TO ENJOY IT. LOOK, EVERYONE HERE LIKES IT.
EVERYONE IS AVOIDING EYE CONTACT WITH YOU. MUSIC IS A PERSONAL, SUBJECTIVE EXPERIENCE. PEOPLE SHOULD BE ABLE TO CHOOSE WHAT THEY LISTEN TO AND NOT HAVE GODDAMN FM RADIO TRASH SHOVED DOWN THEIR THROAT ON THE WAY TO WORK.
SPEAKER GUY: *somehow turns his speaker up louder*
It was at this point that our interview ended because I was so overcome with rage that I grabbed the Bluetooth speaker and smashed it off the floor. Before speaker guy could react, I started punching him in the side of the head. Other subway riders joined in with me, and we jumped the shit out of him. I went through his pockets and stole his USB charging cable so he can’t charge the speaker anymore.
When police finally arrived on the scene, they were 2 hours late and shot an unrelated bystander in the back.