The longest day of the year is upon us, and with it comes thousands of years of humanity observing it in their own unique way. Of all the civilizations who’ve marked the occasion of the summer solstice it can be said the Pagan celebrations were undoubtedly the best, mostly because the stunning goth barista at this coffee shop would probably think the same. So let’s dig into some solstice history and pray to Gaia this raven haired stunner is free after her shift.
To put it in layman’s terms the solstice today is like a big summer kickoff, but back when humanity was mostly agrarian this was the start of the harvest season. You could liken it to being the Pagan version of Christmas, though not to be confused with December 25th which the Christians stole from Pagans. Chances are she brings that up to her uptight dad every holiday season.
Apparently the solstice coincided with the water of the Nile River rising, so then the ancient Egyptians would be able to predict flooding. This is key to our opening salvo, because she’s rocking the Cleopatra/Souixsie Sioux cat eyeliner with ankh necklace combo, so there’s a good chance she’s into ancient history.
Of course, it would be irresponsible to talk about the solstice and not bring up the Druids, the original goths. They left behind no “official” written records, but they’re given unofficial credit with constructing Stonehenge, it’s purpose to allegedly align with the sun during solstice. It’s probably a safe bet she’d be impressed with these pictures of StoneHenge from that backpacking trip eight years ago. Just gotta find a way to crop mom and dad out of them first.
Druids were also quite pro “throw shit into a bonfire and hope for a good crop output”, so it looks like the newly installed fire pit in the backyard is about to pay for itself. They also set bonfires to ward off evil spirits, i.e. her shift manager who looks like a total normie. Would she be down for burning an effigy of his likeness a la The Wicker Man?
Okay, time to order. Here’s hoping she’s a history buff and is willing to overlook our tenuous knowledge of Nick Cave’s discography and – ah crap, she just went on break! Looks like we’re observing the solstice by watching Midsommar again.