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The Next Oasis? I Just Filed A Restraining Order Against My Brother

For decades sibling rivalry has been the core of legendary British rock band Oasis. Due to their multiple extended hiatuses, I think it is time my brother and I rise to the occasion and take their place.

My brother and I have been at each other’s throats for as long as I can remember. He would break into my room, steal my clothes, and throw them in the river, no matter how much we fought he would never tell me why. But it led to me wearing a trash bag as pants to school at least three times. Despite our differences, we were able to come together and form our band Disciples of Decatur. We played 8 shows and gave out several burned CD-Rs that I’m sure are still in heavy rotation. I will never forget the feeling of ripping off a Stones riff and pairing it with his deep introspective lyrics that lacked any meaning whatsoever. It was magic.

This brotherly relationship took a nosedive two years ago when he stole my dog Gingerbread claiming “he needs to serve a greater purpose.” Since this incident, I began to distance myself from him for the safety of myself and my family, despite this distance he still found a way to continue meddling with my life. Because of this, just last week I was forced to file a five year restraining order against him. The stress of this conflict has made me want to be creative again.

Even though we have our differences there is a part of me that misses rocking out with him and making waves. We really had something going on and I truly believe our separation could fuel our fiery creative partnership again. I am beginning to stock up on burnable CDs while the market is low and I am putting money aside to record once we are reunited.

My excitement for this reunion cannot be overstated. I have been looking on Craigslist to find a suitable guitar for our future career. My wife does not understand the potential of this situation and is trying to squash my dreams by saying bullshit like “Do you even care about your kids?” and “We don’t have the type of money to just save for your stupid dreams when you don’t even have a job!” Even with my wife against me, I have started listening to music more seriously and watching guitar lessons on YouTube in preparation for the long-awaited reunion of Disciples of Decatur.