I am probably outraged! I just got back from seeing this amazing band for the first time whose music saved my life many times growing up, yet I left feeling dead inside. My insides trembled heading the iconic opening riff of ‘Blind’ only to be possibly devastated when my hero, the Irish-English-Welch-German singer of Korn, Jonathan Davis took the stage wearing a kilt and playing bagpipes.
Mr. Davis: you are canceled, probably.
As a member of the sacred Scottish ethnicity, I feel like I should maybe be outraged at this careless display of a mixed-white man parading around in the clothes of my ancestors like it’s a fucking costume. In that moment I had never been so inconsolably ambivalent.
Even worse, it turns out he actually PLAYS the bagpipes on stage. I knew they used bagpipes on their albums but I had reasonably assumed the band flew out authentic Scottish monks to play basic melodies over nursery rhymes.
I will concede one point- Mr. Davis is technically one 5th Scottish. Blah blah blah. Yeah, and I’m 1/64th Native American but you don’t see me bringing that up except on social media. Keep that shit on Facebook, you filthy milk-skinned mutt.
The one moment of respite I felt during my horribly indecisive ordeal was when Jonathan Davis changed into an ADIDAS tracksuit. You know, like those silly Russians wear. Hahaha that culture is so funny.
This article is satirical. The Hard Times is a punk/hardcore satire site. All content should be considered parody and entertainment purposes only.
