Both Beyoncé and Taylor Swift have made this clear: they refuse to be part of any narrative that pits two women against each other. And rightfully so. It’s a distasteful tactic used by some in the media to undermine successful women who each hold significant stature in their own right. So, we won’t be engaging in such comparisons here. But remember the Weakerthans? How do they stack up against the two biggest names in pop?
Tours
Both Taylor Swift and Beyoncé released movies documenting their latest tour. Swift had the record-breaking “Eras Tour” while Beyoncé thrilled the masses with the “Renaissance World Tour.” The Weakerthans have never had one of their tours turned into a full length film, but I did see them on tour in 2013 the turnout I saw was impressive. We were packed shoulder to shoulder in that not-so-empty room. If that tour happened today maybe it would have just as much fanfare, the media landscape was different back then.
Songs About Cats
Beyoncé has a song titled ‘Kitty Kat,’ which actually doesn’t seem to be about a cat at all. And despite the media’s attempts to bury it, Taylor Swift appeared in the movie musical ‘Cats.’ But did you know The Weakerthans have a trilogy about Virtute, an amalgamation of John’s pet cats? You might have found yourself moved to tears by ‘Heaven’ or ‘All Too Well (10 Minute Version) (Taylor’s Version),’ but I triple dog dare you to hold back the waterworks after hearing John K. Samson repeat ‘But I can’t remember the sound that you found for me,’ as ‘Virtute the Cat Explains Her Departure’ builds to a crescendo.
Album Sales
I haven’t looked this up, but I bet Taylor Swift and Beyoncé have sold a heck of a lot of albums. Good for them! And you know what else? The Weakerthans have also made their mark. According to my internet research, their ‘Reunion Tour’ album debuted at No. 22 on a Canadian SoundScan chart. So based on my best guess, between the three of them, they’ve sold a buttload of records.
Choreography
I hope I’m not speaking out of turn here, but I personally believe Beyoncé is an incredible dancer. Her choreography is second to none. Taylor, too, puts on quite a show. However, we can’t overlook the night I saw Jason, the Weakerthans’ drummer, at a jazz club in Winnipeg. That man can really cut a rug! He danced the night away. So again, it’s challenging to compare; they’re all different kinds of performers. But what I see in each of them is undeniable talent.
Lyrics
Taylor is known for her heart-wrenching lyrics, while Beyoncé is renowned for addressing modern issues in her songs. And, of course, both have captivated the world with hidden messages in their lyrics. And then there’s that time I attended a poetry reading by John K. Samson. I have to say that I have never heard fantasy baseball described so beautifully. Really, who can’t appreciate a well-managed fantasy team? Editor’s note: I am aware this is from his solo work, but I just don’t know how to talk about these three without bringing up fantasy baseball.
Being Canadian
Both Beyoncé and Taylor have dominated the Canadian charts, but here’s a surprising fact: neither of them is Canadian! But you know who is? The Weakerthans are from Winnipeg! So, while I hate to be rude here, and I’d like to acknowledge the merits of all artists in this category, there’s no avoiding it: John and crew are the most Canadian.
Overall
As I tally up the votes and examine the categories above, the numbers don’t lie. The real winner? The fans. The fans who have the privilege of witnessing these three influential titans of the music industry dominate the airwaves and our hearts in a way we may never see again. When we are old, sharing stories from our rocking chairs, we won’t remember the times some critic wrote a snarky review of a tour. Instead, we’ll tell our grandchildren about the glory days when Beyoncé, Taylor Swift, and The Weakerthans captured our hearts with lyrics about parallelograms and also other stuff.
Photo by Martin Cathrae and Raph_PH