I’m not going to sit here and pretend I’m a perfect person. We’ve all had times when we’ve failed to meet the moment. But if Miss Rachel can speak out about the genocide in Gaza, why would we tolerate anything less from the fictional, animated Blue Heeler puppy, Bluey.
Before anyone rushes to her defense, I know that Bluey is only seven years old. But guess what? In human years, that’s thirty-five. THIRTY-FIVE! Are you really gonna sit there and tell me that a thirty-five-year-old shouldn’t have to address the horrors going on in the world?
Miss Rachel is the picture of bravery. She continues to not back down and speak up for what is right and just. Meanwhile, all Bluey can say is “oh biscuits” and “for real life!” Well, she can bark “for real life” all she wants, but IN REAL LIFE, she is doing nothing to help those in need. And she should be fucking ashamed. Bad dog. BAD DOG!
Obviously, when it comes to the crisis in Gaza, Bluey is not the only one to blame. Really blame goes to the entire Heeler clan. Bandit, you’re a good dad, but there is blood on your hands. Bingo, bad girl. Chili, we honestly expected better. Shame on you all.
Sure, I know some of you may say, “Why are focusing so much on a Bluey? Is it because the horrors of watching genocide on a phone every day have burned away the nerve endings to your understanding of what the human experience is, thereby unconsciously affirming the idea that to be human is to experience constant pain? Are you satirizing opinion pieces that throw blame anywhere but the cause of the problem, because they know in the end opinions change nothing, and the only thing that will destroy this apocalyptic machine of death is violent uprising but that concept is too terrifying because we all just wanna eat pizza and watch The Traitors, so the best most of us can do is to feign outrage on our social media over the biggest humanitarian crisis of our lifetime? Are you writing this because in the end, comedy feels like the safest avenue to express the helplessness you feel as the world is entirely engulfed by fascism?” Wait, shit, yeah, that is why I’m writing this. Sorry, Bluey’s fine and Ms. Rachel rules.