Welcome to the simulation. For some time now people have noticed what appear to be glitches in the timeline, inconsistencies between hard copy media and our collective memories. The Berenstein Bears. The Fruit of the Loom cornucopia. That Sinbad genie movie. All of those are bullshit and only gained traction because people are idiots, but I was just watching one of those “remember the 90s” shows and George Burns was a Spice Girl? Yeah okay reality might be broken.
Every source I’ve checked says the same thing: The Spice Girls consisted of Scary Spice, Sporty Spice, Ginger Spice, Baby Spice and George Burns. He doesn’t even have a spice name like Old Spice or Smokey Spice, just George Burns. I can’t be the only one who remembers the group rounded out by another attractive woman and not veteran comedic actor George Burns, right?
Look, I think the “Mandela effect” is bullshit, but this is kind of crazy. There’s just no way that The Spice Girls were the pop sensation I remember them to be and included an old cigar smoking man cracking wise. Dude was like in his 90s, how could he have done the dance moves?
I would have remembered that.
I listened back to some of their songs, and they sound just like I remember, except now they have George Burns chiming in with one liners. It’s not even melodic, it sounds like someone just haphazardly slapped George Burns sound bites over Spice Girls songs. Why is everyone okay with this?
I remember whenever their music played on my school bus my friends and I would argue over which one was the hottest, and this one kid, Tommy Crealmann, always picked Posh Spice, a woman I swear existed and was in the group. I looked Tommy up and called him. I asked him “who’s the hottest Spice Girl?” and without missing a beat he says “George Burns because he’s funny and smokes cigars.”
Either the worlds gone crazy or I have. No one I talk to remembers Posh at all. One dude even made a big deal of the fact that there’s no spice called posh spice. I fired back with “there’s no spice called baby spice either!” and he goes “Yeah there is” and pulls a bottle of baby spice out of his pocket, so I guess that’s different now too. Apparently it’s used to spice up food for babies, and not to spice up babies for eating, still weird though!