Having an erection in public is embarrassing, but it happens to the best of us. I was fully prepared to look away and not say anything until I saw that your pants had two bulges. There’s the obvious one in the middle, nice size, good girth, 10/10 normal penis from the outline. I would just say, ‘Is there ‘something’ in your pocket’ if I were trying to make a joke about the situation, but after doing a double take, I don’t know whether to be concerned about my safety or your health. The bulge right of center is such a distinctive shape, it’s either a Rossi RM66 .357 Magnum with a six-inch barrel or a secondary stiffy.
I’ve read Freud, I know about phallic object theory and how guns and dicks are the same shape, and both represent an affirmation of masculinity. I’d like to consider myself open-minded to unconventional expressions of gender and sexuality. It’s really none of my business, and what’s the difference between the two when it comes down to it? They can both be loaded, concealed, and pump-action, but one could fucking kill me, which is probably why I’m still stuck on this. Have you had a vasectomy? I’m really praying that you’re shooting blanks.
Sorry I keep staring. I couldn’t think of a discreet way to confront you, but I just have to know. Rambo or Randy? Even if I gestured to your crotch and asked if it was registered, that would do nothing to clear the air; both answers would only cause more questions. I could ask to see it, but that would be awkward. Also, I’m not really into guys in that way, and I am for sure not into guns that way.
Hey, what’s with that grin, anyway? It’s like you’re enjoying this confrontation a little too much. I get the sense that you’re only horny in a normal, one-dicked way because you’re about to kill me, which I’ve no doubt you’d commit to, given you clearly don’t have performance anxiety.