Experts say taking care of your mental health is one of the most important things you can do. That’s why this year I finally decided to put myself first and do whatever it takes to build my esteem up, which I’ve discovered is most quickly achieved by tearing others down.
Many self-help gurus say it’s vital to shift your mindset from what you “should” do to what you “must” do, which I interpreted as needing to tell my best friend Todd that his lifelong commitment to helping special needs kids is just a pathetic ploy for validation because he has a God complex. It’s amazing how quickly I felt better about myself after telling him that his life was a sham.
Secondly, I started to practice self-love. I achieved this by being proud of my values, which taught me to embrace my strength which I realized was being a dick to people around me in order to elevate my ego. Such as when I told my coworker Kathy that everyone knew she was crying in the breakroom last week, mainly because I secretly filmed it and showed them. That might seem like a lousy thing to do, but it makes sense after you realize I had to do something to deflect from the fact that I showed up a bit tipsy to work.
Another tool I employed was confronting my fears. I’ve always had bad anxiety, which has stopped me from being my authentic self. But now I just throw caution to the wind and venture into new situations with an open heart, knowing that I can turn fear into something positive. Like when I turned the trepidation of my wife leaving me after she discovered my secret family, into something good when I announced that I had cancer, something which guilted her into staying. The fact that it’s not true is inconsequential.
You might be taking this all in and thinking “My God, these are the hallmarks of an overly aggressive sociopath,” but hear me out — shut up nerd. Is it lonely up there on your pedestal?
In the end, every person needs to embark on their own spiritual journey to achieve contentment. Some may succeed with affirmations and therapy, but for those of us who don’t fall for horseshit like that, it’s much easier to achieve when you’re feeding your spirit flame to reach new heights of joy by extinguishing the spirits of anyone who doesn’t have the benefit of being you, like Todd, my idiot son.