Please, someone, anyone — help me. I’ve had the worst earworm of all time, and I’m starting to think that my life is never going to be normal again. I’ve had “Ghost Town” by The Specials stuck in my head since Halloween, which would be fine if it was like, November 4th, but it’s fucking February.
Not that “Ghost Town” is bad or anything, but man, this has been a real long haul. It even overrode the relentless Christmas music that, for some reason, now starts up exactly one day after Halloween. I thought that the My Chemical Romance version of “All I Want For Christmas Is You” might do the trick and replace the unending loop of gloopy reggae jams stuck in my head, but nope. No dice. I even tried listening to a shitty pop punk Christmas playlist on repeat and while I was sleeping to subliminally try to get that lodged in there instead, but it didn’t work. I really think I’m doomed here.
You ever had a song with a fucking trombone line stuck in your head? I feel like I’m living in a Charlie Brown special, except instead of Vince Guaraldi, it’s just the teachers talking. And don’t get me started on the part of “Ghost Town” where the really high-pitched weird shrieky vocals come in with the “ahhhhAHHhahHAHHHHHHH” or whatever. That jumpscares me every time, and I’ve had this song on a three-and-a-half-minute loop day in, day out for months now. I don’t think my cardiac health can take much more of that.
I’m begging you guys. Is there anyone out there who has access to some cutting-edge un-earworm technology? I’ll get a fucking Neuralink at this point if it helps. I can’t stand it anymore. I know all the clubs have been closed down and bands won’t play anymore. But at this rate, I don’t want to live no more. I can’t take it.
Actually, does anyone have Elon Musk’s contact info?
