It’s Jacob’s mother’s birthday, and he wants you to know his mom is his whole world… His hero. His queen. His rock. His first love. His last love. His maker. Mama’s boys are categorically good people. They love women because they love their mom. This cannot be contested.
“My mom was and still is a stunning beauty. A natural caretaker. She is the epitome of a woman. Unlike any other woman in the world. But most of all, she is selfless.” Jacob Jacobson wrote in a heartwarming tribute on Instagram on Sunday. “My dad and brothers and I have only accomplished greatness in our careers and personal ambitions because of her. We wouldn’t be here without her. She is the fuel with which we succeed. #mamasboy #worldsgreatestmom #myqueen #mom #women”
Imagine what a shock this heartfelt outpouring of support for women came to Jacob’s most recent ex, Phoebe Simone, who reported that Jacob also had some words for her recently.
“A few weeks ago, he called me a ‘f—ing w—-’, and a ‘stupid piece of s—,’ she recalled. “Jacob has always had a way with words. At first, he seemed to worship the ground I walked on, which was a bit overwhelming. Then, I made him a cake for his birthday, and he told me the icing wasn’t how his mom did it and asked me to redo it. I thought: wait, I make more money than this man, what the hell am I doing?”
That’s pretty shocking behavior coming from a confirmed momma-loving ally like Jacob, but then again, not all heroes wear capes. Maybe that well-disguised altruism is why dating Jacob is so expensive! Another ex-girlfriend weighed in on the financial damage from dating Jacob.
“Jacob set me back 20K in therapy bills. He told me he couldn’t picture me as a mother because I lacked the nurturing quality that his mom has,” Mary Barlowe shared. “Any time we would fight, he’d hold the phone up and say, ‘Just ask my mom. Ask her. Call her and she’ll tell you how well I treat women,” Mary reflected, shaking her head. “Also, let’s just say he left school during lunch every day to breastfeed in the parking lot, but you didn’t hear that from me.”
Sources close to Jacob’s mother gave her statement. “The girl that finally snatches him up will be the luckiest girl alive. I just haven’t met any who deserve my sweet boy yet.”