Under the right circumstances, eating edibles can be an awesome time. They’re convenient, potent, and discreet. They’re also legal (assuming you live somewhere worth living)! The real issue comes with the delay of effects. It’s dangerously easy to pop a gummy or take a few bites from a chocolate bar and then forget about it until much later.
When you finally get hit by that truck of THC, it may be too late to buckle up. Here is a list of the worst places to suddenly start feeling that edible you totally forgot about taking an hour ago.
At a job interview
You’re ready for this! You’ve got your resume memorized, your best business attire on, and you even have some astute questions prepared. But all of a sudden, BAM! That 20mg cookie you ate while interview prepping to “calm your nerves” smacks you across the face. It starts with a smirk, then an uncontrollable giggle, then you’re laughing maniacally on mute while your interviewer stares blankly over Zoom. Looks like you’re not getting an offer.
At a funeral
During tough times, some people cope using therapy. Others cope with copious amounts of weed laced candy. You did the latter and then forgot about it. At least, until you saw inside the open casket. Now you’re letting out an uncontrollable Wilhelm scream and everyone is watching you freak out over a dead body. You could have maybe convinced them later that you were just overcome with grief, except for the fact that you tried to shake Gram Gram awake.
During mile 2 of a marathon
You just hit the second mile marker and you’re cruising along at a nice pace. Nothing is gonna break your stride! You take a swig of water because your mouth is super dry all of a sudden. You look down at your feet — why do they feel like cinder blocks? What the hell was in that pre-race energy bar you ate? Now that you think about it, it did taste a little funny…and it was called CannaBar Xtreme. Here we go again! Let’s just say you’re not going to PR today.
At the DMV during your driver’s license test
So that other job interview didn’t work out. You decide it’s time to finally get licensed and drive for Uber Eats. You’ve studied the manual, you’ve practiced in parking lots with your friends. You’re ready to ace this driving test and get your life together! But wait, you ate a few gummies earlier while stressing, didn’t you? It’s starting to seem like a pattern, buddy. You should pull over before the DMV instructor grabs the wheel–your eyes have been closed for 10 seconds straight.
At an intervention for your marijuana use
This one is pretty self explanatory, but at least it’s not on you since an intervention is by its own nature a surprise. As far as you knew, you were just going over to babysit your nephew.