Press "Enter" to skip to content

5 Lies I Told Myself About My Chicken Parm Addiction

Through my recovery at New Horizons Chicken Parmesan Treatment Facility, I was able to get an entirely new lease on life. The community there gave me the courage to envision a Chicken Parm-free lifestyle. My eyes were opened to all different kinds of foods that didn’t include chicken, sauce or mozzarella at all. Even better, my old life was waiting for me the second I got out of rehab.

There was still a lot of anger to deal with when I got out of rehab. Anger at myself, for letting things go so far to begin with. Why had I wasted so many years as a slave to John BarleyParm when all it did was make me miserable and sluggish?

“I’m Shy And I Need To Eat Chicken Parm As A Social Crutch.”

Eating Chicken Parmesan to manage social anxiety is all too common. I always thought my nerves were settled when I had that first bite but it always made things much worse. The amount of times I ate too much Chicken Parm and vomited in the middle of a restaurant are too many to count. Oftentimes I wouldn’t even remember doing it because I was in a sauce out. The embarrassment I felt was far worse than any social anxiety I felt. I can look at myself in the mirror today because I realized my actions were a result of my parming and not a reflection of who I was as a person.

“I’m Funnier When I’m Eating Chicken Parm.”

Sure, eating Chicken Parm lowers your inhibitions so people around you are more likely to laugh. Parm-fueled comedy is often hard to get right and many times my attempts at humor completely bombed. I ruined my best friend’s wedding because I thought it would be funny to pour a scalding hot plate of Chicken Parm on my head. I had third degree burns on my scalp and an ambulance was called. In my recovery I realized I’m funny because of who I am, not because of the harmonious balance of marinara, breaded chicken breast and mozzarella.

“Everyone Eats As Much Chicken Parm As I Do, If Not More.”

I ran with a wild crowd in college. You name it, we ate it. Chicken Parm, Chicken Parm Sandwiches, Chicken Parm with Rigatoni. One time I tried Veal Parm but it wasn’t for me (thank god). After college, my friends moved on and started families. They were about to enjoy one, maybe two orders of Chicken Parm in a night. For me, the party never ended. I thought my behavior was completely normal and under control. At my rock bottom I was putting back eight orders of Chicken Parm in a night. One day my Mother found me sauced out in a roadside Olive Garden and asked me “Is this really how you want to live?” Right then, I knew I had to change my ways and get help.

“All Of My Heroes Ate Chicken Parm.”

The allure of eating Chicken Parm had an enormous effect on my impressionable young mind. I would see pictures of Mick Jagger, Val Kilmer or Chef Boyardee eating Chicken Parm and think that if I only ate Chicken Parmesan I could be as great as them. My heroes were able to achieve success in spite of eating Chicken Parm, not because of it.

“If I Quit Eating Chicken Parm I’m Going To Lose All Of My Friends.”

For decades eating Chicken Parm controlled my entire life. All of my friends ate Chicken Parm, my dating history was fueled by Chicken Parm. It felt like I didn’t even have my own life. I feared that if I quit eating Chicken Parm everything would vanish and I would be completely alone. Not only was this categorically untrue (my friends who do still eat chicken parm have been nothing but supportive,) but thanks to New Horizons Chicken Parmesan Treatment Facility I have new friends who understand and relate to my struggles.

If you’re feeling like your Chicken Parm eating is getting out of control, please remember it’s never too late to get help. I did and I’ve never been happier.