Tweaker Wins Tour of Meth Lab After Finding Golden Ticket in 8-Ball
SPARKS, Nev. — Local methamphetamine addict Chuck “Bucket” Kane was shocked to discover an invitation to tour a secretive drug…
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Tim Graham — Page 6
131 stories found
New Biography Reveals “X” Was Name of Elon Musk’s Beloved Childhood Sled
SAN FRANCISCO — The author of an upcoming biography of Elon Musk found evidence suggesting his obsession with the letter…
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Morrissey, Johnny Marr Pretend Not to See Each Other at Grocery Store
MANCHESTER, England — Ex-Smiths bandmates Morrissey and Johnny Marr were spotted in close proximity of one another at the Oxford…
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Conservative Iron Maiden Fan Argues Some Powerslaves Were Treated Well, Learned Valuable Skills
FORT MYERS, Fla. — Conservative metalhead Edgar Hardy insisted that the “woke” interpretation of what life was like as a…
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Georgia Passes Law Criminalizing Giving Water to People Waiting in Merch Lines
ATLANTA — Georgia’s governor has signed a bill prohibiting the act of offering water to thirsty audience members queuing in…
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Procrastinating Punk Band Nearly Finished with Bush Protest Album
GREELEY, Colo. — Local band Yellowcake Uranium issued a statement on their website’s message board hinting that they’re almost done…
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30 Band Shirts That Will Get You Flagged By The TSA If You Wear Them to the Airport
It’s natural to want to express your love for your favorite band, and you want to be comfy when traveling,…
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Gov. Abbott Enlists Texas National Guard to Shoot at Wildfires
AUSTIN, Texas — Governor Greg Abbott deployed Texas National Guard troops to combat the rapidly spreading wildfires in the state’s…
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Current Owner of House From Cover of ‘Rohnert Park’ Asks Again That Visiting Fans Refrain From Practicing Kickflips In Street After Posted Quiet Hours
ROHNERT PARK, Calif. — Homeowner Ben Founier admits he’s losing patience with fans who attempt to recreate Ceremony’s famous cover…
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AT&T Outage Forces Commuters to Listen to Something Called ‘Beefman and The Stroker Morning Show’
DALLAS — Cellular giant AT&T’s massive outage caused disruption to vital services and prevented customers from listening to their preferred…
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