Matt Gaetz Tells Girlfriend He Can Attend Quinceañera After All
TALLAHASSEE, Fla. — Former Florida representative Matt Gaetz informed his girlfriend Valentina he will be able to go to her…
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Tim Graham — Page 5
144 stories found
Here’s What Trump Really Meant When He Said “I Will Literally Line Up My Political Rivals and Have Them Executed by Firing Squad”
Here we go again—the libs are panicking about another innocent, off-the-cuff comment from President Trump. It’s exhausting having to explain…
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Gen Xer Misses When Rappers Began Songs With Their Name and What They Were Here to Say
DANBURY, Conn. — 48-year-old Bruce Wallach wishes contemporary rappers would introduce themselves as they did in ‘80s hip hop, sources…
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Crust Punk Tribe Has 19 Words for “Broke”
ANN ARBOR, Mich. — The group of gutter punks that loiters near 5th and Huron employs many invented terms for…
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History Buff Excited to Experience What 1930s Germany Was Like
BINGHAMTON, N.Y. – Local World War II enthusiast Edward Spencer says he is looking forward to witnessing the rise of…
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It’s Always Spooky Season for Me, A Man Haunted By His Past
Every Fall I watch you normies get all excited that “spooky season” is here once again. That means it’s time…
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Man Debating Whether Next Short-Lived Obsession Will Be Cycling, Cast Iron or Pickling
BENNINGTON, Vt. — Local bartender Jerome Skinner is nearing a final decision on what subject he will become temporarily engrossed…
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JNCO Warns US Strategic Denim Reserve Could Be Depleted If Nu Metal Revival Intensifies
LOS ANGELES — Garment company JNCO says renewed interest in their extra-wide legged jeans could result in a devastating shortage…
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Noise Fan Attempts to Shazam Unbalanced Washing Machine Heard Through Apartment Wall
KINGSTON, N.Y. — Noise music enthusiast Craig Spencer tried in vain to identify the cacophonous racket heard through his living…
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Man Asserts Being Conservative Divorced Dad Whose Kids Won’t Speak to Him Anymore is The New Punk Rock
DERRY, N.H. — Conservative divorcee and frequent conspiracy forum visitor Ken Doherty claims his lifestyle epitomizes the punk rock ethos,…
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