Supreme Court to Release Opinions Early for Patreon Subscribers
WASHINGTON — Justices of the Supreme Court announced that they will release their opinions early to select subscribers of a…
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Max Barth
39 stories found
Trump Voter a Little Disappointed He Won’t Get To Shit on Desk in Capitol This Time
WEST CHESTER, Penn. — Local Trump supporter Stephen Hall confirmed that he is happy about Trump’s win, but is a…
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Schrödinger’s Boys Back In Town While Still Out Of Town
PHILADELPHIA – A groundbreaking thought experiment shows that Schrödinger's Boys have apparently returned to town while simultaneously enjoying the delights…
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Spotify Says Laid-Off Employees Can Keep Jobs if They Switch to No-Compensation-With-Ads Plan
NEW YORK — Spotify CEO Daniel Ek announced that the company would be laying off one-sixth of its workforce, though…
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Punk John Cage “4’33”” Cover Only 13 Seconds Long
ST. LOUIS — A punk tribute to experimental composer John Cage ended with a triumphant thirteen-second cover of his most…
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Cutting Edge AI Successfully Isolates John Lennon’s Abuse From Rest of Legacy
LONDON – Just hours after announcing a "new" Beatles song enabled by artificial intelligence, the surviving members of the seminal…
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Goo Goo Dolls Voted Third Best Band With “Goo Goo” in the Name
CLEVELAND, Ohio. — Pop rock band Goo Goo Dolls were once again voted “Third Best Band With ‘Goo Goo’ in…
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Problematic Punk Exiled to Suburban Scene
PHILADELPHIA — Problematic punk Tom “Bigfoot” LaTucci was officially exiled from the local scene by the Punk Elder Tribunal this…
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BREAKING: Roommate Could Reach Debt Limit by July
PHILADELPHIA – Local man Travis Burnett revealed to his roommates this week that, without immediate intervention and deal making, he…
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Greek Orthodox Punk Celebrates Record Store Day Thirteen Days Later
NEW YORK – Local Greek Orthodox punk Roland Lee admits he regularly misses out on limited edition Record Store Day…
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