The new year is almost here and it’s time to pick a resolution that has value, which means you need a resolution that will piss…
AUSTIN, Texas — Aging punk Sean Dennings shocked the local community when he swapped a New Year’s Eve rager for a quiet night at home,…
Listen, I know I can be a jerk sometimes, but there was absolutely no reason that the Ghost of Christmas Past had to bother me…
PALO ALTO, Calif. — Stanford University’s Fear Response & Behavioral Sciences Department officially confirmed “Can we talk?” as the scariest text of all time, according…
So you’re unemployed for the holidays. Bummer. You might be starting to wonder how you’re going to afford Christmas gifts this year. I mean, you…
OAKLAND, Calif. — Local punk dog Rex Pistols reportedly refuses to eat anything but Doc Martens boots, puzzled sources confirmed. “Hell no, I’m not eating…
It used to be effortless making friends outside the venue when you were a smoker. Usually you’d just ask if anyone had a light and…
TAMPA, Fla. — The National Association of Wedding Planners overwhelmingly voted Peaches’ song “Fuck The Pain Away” as the worst for mother-son dances at weddings…
Your mom is a classy lady—she wasn’t raised in a barn for gosh sake! And that means she’s offended. A lot. She just wishes that…