LOS ANGELES — Local Caucasian anime fan Martin O’Rourke ordered his sixth 23andMe in an attempt to prove that he is 100% technically a little…
AUSTIN, Texas — Local gamer Christine McNamara bought a full-price $60 version of popular video game Overwatch today solely to understand the constant Overwatch-related memes…
THIS IS A TEMPLATE. DO NOT FORGET TO FILL IN THE BLANKS WHEN THE INEVITABLE NEW STORY COMES OUT. DO NOT DISTRIBUTE. – Editor Ugh,…
Wow, a heartbreaking story just got a whole lot more heartbreaking. As you may know, only days ago, Telltale Games announced to unsuspecting employees that…
AUGUSTA, Maine — Local nerd Martin Beauchamp announced to fellow members of the online involuntarily celibate, also known as “incel,” community that he had purchased…
BALTIMORE — Sources report that the newest novel in the Jack Ryan series originally created by Tom Clancy before his death is about a gun…
SCOTLAND — A new study into the decision-making involved in sorting Hogwarts students into housing, which is done by a committee of one sentient hat,…
BROOKLYN, N.Y. — Local pop punk band Red Nose, which features nine musicians who all dress as clowns with intricate circus-based backstories, were reportedly dismayed…
After unsuccessfully wading into political waters the past couple of years, the popular video game website The Escapist is relaunching with a new mission and…
WASHINGTON — President Trump lashed out against “fake news media” on Twitter this morning after a handful of journalists allegedly convinced him to write “PEN15”…
SEATTLE — Local grandfather Herbert Schumeister’s 93-year-long kill/death ratio shifted from 0:0 to 0:1 today, following his death from natural causes. “Grandpa Herb was such…
MADISON, Wisc. — Revolutionary video game Block Dude has once again won awards in every eligible category at the annual Calculator Gaming Awards, marking the…
Marvel’s new Spider-Man game for the PlayStation 4, to be released this Fall, is a beautiful love letter to the island of Manhattan. In the…
WASHINGTON — Democrats in the Senate were unable to block President Trump’s replacement for departing Supreme Court Justice Anthony Kennedy, resulting in the confirmation of…
CHICAGO — Local nerd Chris Patson found himself in a tight spot this morning during a political argument with his African American friend Carla Stevenson…














