June 25, 2018
NEW YORK — In a press conference today, American Civil Liberties Union president Susan N. Herman announced that the organization…
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May 8, 2018
FERNDALE, Wash. — At a recent LAN party, local PC gamer and prolific liar Chris Hartigan incorrectly suggested he could…
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April 30, 2018
CAMBRIDGE, Mass. — Several graduate students associated with the Massachusetts Institute of Technology's Media Lab have taken shelter in a…
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April 20, 2018
SANTA ROSA, Calif. — Prep cook and marijuana enthusiast Alan Fisher inadvertently used his nunchucks for their deeper, lifelong purpose…
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February 16, 2018
Dark Souls is coming out for the Nintendo Switch despite the fact Nintendo consoles are only for children. I would…
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February 5, 2018
MUSHROOM KINGDOM — Following the first race of this year's 150cc Star Cup, Mario was sent into an existential crisis,…
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January 24, 2018
Look at that drummer. She just put down her regular sticks and picked up two little bundles of kebab skewers.…
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January 8, 2018
BELLINGHAM, Wash. — 25-year-old Kyle Booth suspects that his new punk friends only like him for his basement, now that…
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November 29, 2017
Cats! The grist for the internet content mill, the furry little fucks that keep you up at night with their…
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November 22, 2017
KIRKLAND, Wash. — After embarking on several EVE Online missions, Clark Kirchner accidentally passed the Uniform Certified Public Accountant Examination,…
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