ROCHESTER, N.Y. — Local showgoer Alex Andrade ventured off to the restroom last night in hopes of finding a toilet seat that “felt just right,…
EUGENE, Ore. – A local fuck-up is hopeful this morning that the nutrients from his half-consumed Synergy Gingerberry kombucha will be more than enough to…
NEW YORK — The New York City Department of Parks and Recreation released today its highly anticipated annual summer guide, which now includes the best…
DULUTH, Minn. — A new report released today in the New England Journal of Medicine claims that the feeling of being in love with someone…
JUPITER, Fla. — Local woman Kim Vandiver’s search history is cluttered for the fourth day in a row with Buzzfeed quizzes and Craigslist apartments she…
PORTLAND, Ore. — A group of Ouija board players were visited by a punk member of the ether last night, who communicated that it was…
I’m probably being a hypochondriac but does anyone know if The Flaming Lips are contagious? I was tested earlier this year but I don’t remember…
BERKELEY, Calif. — Local woman Alicia Tsoi is still not sure what to get for her first tattoo removal, despite several years of considering her…
All day long I hear people complaining about how bad alcohol is. How it destroys families and makes you shit your pants at your girlfriend’s…
ALBANY, N.Y. — Local man Evan Carr stumbled upon Train tracks recently during a deep depression, narrowly escaping certain death, helpless but relieved family members…
AKRON, Ohio — A pair of bathing suit bottoms were called in to pick up an off-season shift this week after a local woman’s underwear…
MONTCLAIR, N.J. — Punk mom Diane Schaffer consistently reminds her friends and family that she read White Oleander months before Oprah Winfrey added it to…
CHARLOTTE, N.C. — Local grandmother Dolores McComb is offering chicken as the “cruelty-free” option for tonight’s homemade meal, according to sources dreading the dinner. McComb…
NEW YORK — Local artist Jamie Leroy is “making waves” in Brooklyn’s tight knit art community with her original, lactose foam-on-coffee visuals adorning customer’s lattes,…
SALT LAKE CITY — Local mother Robin Johnston saved money for three years to take her entire family on a week-long, all-inclusive guilt trip straight…