Les Claypool Finally Good Enough to Switch to Guitar
EL SOBRANTE, Calif. — Founding Primus member Les Claypool finally reached a level of competence that will allow him to…
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David Britton
18 stories found
Kinky Couple Makes Friends and Family Watch as They Pledge Undying Love to Each Other
MESA, Ariz. — Local kinky couple Charles Huffman and Mallory Moore seemingly got aroused after coercing their friends and family…
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OK Go Video Ends in Tragedy When Mouse Trap Tied to Alarm Clock Causes Ping Pong Balls to Release Early
CHICAGO — A mouse trap tied to an alarm clock caused a plastic bucket full of ping pong balls to…
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Man Tries to Get Tumor Out of Brain by Thinking of Other, Catchier Tumor
GOSPORT, Ind. — Local grocery store clerk Max Fine, who was recently diagnosed with a tumor in his frontal lobe,…
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For a Hundred Extra Dollars This Couples Therapist Will Just Tell You Who is Right
Therapy, whether it be the online variety or the old-school kind where you have to leave your house, has become…
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Ego That Died on Mushroom Trip Resurrected by Cocaine Bender
BEDFORD, Ind. — Grocery store clerk Max Bryce recently experienced an ego death after ingesting over five grams of psychedelic…
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New “Fox and Friends” Reboot to be Shot Entirely from Front Seat of Ford F-150
NEW YORK — Producers of “Fox & Friends” announced today that they will move the popular news show from its…
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Merch Guy Demoted to Bass Player
CINCINNATI — Sidney Frogus, the longtime merch guy for the band HorseBird, was demoted earlier this week to being the…
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Now That We Have More Medium Hoodies Nothing Can Stop Us!
The success of every truly legendary band has always hinged on their one big break. The Beatles playing on Ed…
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I Want to Try an Impossible Whopper but I’m Uncomfortable Supporting a Monarchy
The real barrier to eating vegan is the lack of fast food options. In our culture if you want a…
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