Vegan Dog Doesn’t Know It
SEATTLE — Local dog and apparent vegan Noodles reportedly remains unaware of the dietary restrictions forced upon her by her…
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Courtney Paige Barnett — Page 2
18 stories found
Punk Girlfriend Confused Why “Boyfriend Jeans” Aren’t Skinny Black Cut-Offs
AUSTIN, Texas — Local punk Brittany Metz stopped dead in her tracks in front of a Gap store earlier today…
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Title of Song Sneakily Placed in Lyrics of Last Verse Instead of Chorus
BOSTON — Local emo act Bottom Drawer are planning a devious surprise for listeners, penning the lyrics to their song…
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Parent Who Is Reason for All Your Problems Suggests Listening to Happier Music
DALLAS, Texas — Concerned mother and sole reason for her children’s anxieties Pamela Yates suggested this morning that her kids…
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Senses Fail to Offer Seminars on Ear Protection to Retain Aging Fans
RIDGEWOOD, N.J. — Post-hardcore outfit Senses Fail announced plans today to add several seminars during their upcoming record release tour…
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All the Guys at This Bar Are Trying to Pick Me up but It’s Because I’m Lying on the Floor
I am fall-down drunk right now. For real. I have literally fallen down and I am presently lying on the…
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Our Favorite Seasonal Beers for Keeping Shows Violent yet Festive
Merry autumnal equinox, fuckers! That’s right, it’s finally the time of year when the leather jacket you wore all summer…
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These Two Dudes With Mohawks Both Hate the U.S. Government but for Very Different Reasons
In our nation’s current state of total buzzkill, it’s more important than ever to focus on what makes us the…
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