We Ranked the Top 10 Amazing Things You Could Have Done With Your Life but You Had Kids
Having a child is an experience you can’t comprehend until you’ve done it. So they tell me. I’m too busy…
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Bobby D. Lux — Page 2
30 stories found
Tarantula Guy Struggles to Find Pet Sitter for Another Bullshit Jail Term
SANTA FE, N.M. — Local tattoo artist Robert Edward is reportedly seeking adequate care for his near two-dozen tarantulas during…
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Evidence Emerges O’Rourke Deleted Dozens of Nü Metal Songs from Private mp3 Device
EL PASO, Texas — Democratic Presidential candidate Beto O’Rourke faced increased scrutiny from political adversaries yesterday following accusations alleging he…
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We Interviewed Tommy Chong Because He Thought We Were High Times
Tommy Chong is a comedy and counter-culture icon so it was pretty cool when he showed up unannounced at our…
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I Bet If the Clash Was Still Around, I’d Know More About Brexit
It’s a real pain in the ass to figure out what’s going on in the world without a punk band…
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Scientists Claim First Punk to Live to Age 65 Likely Already Born
WASHINGTON — Scientists researching the life expectancy of punks now claim that the first punk to live a full 65…
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Chain Wallet Enjoys Second Life As “State’s Evidence Exhibit A”
HUNTINGTON BEACH, Calif. — A chain wallet used in a post-show assault in 2011 is allegedly having “the time of…
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Opinion: Dead Kennedys Songs Weren’t Supposed to Age This Well
Punk songs aren’t supposed to live long enough to have a mid-life crisis. But here we are in 2018 and…
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Fully Costumed Obama Pitches Netflix Execs on Blade Reboot
LOS GATOS, Calif. — Early yesterday morning, a sword-wielding Barack Obama interrupted a meeting of high-ranking Netflix executives while wearing…
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It’s Been Four Fucking Years and I’m Still Waiting for Someone to Tag me in The ALS Ice Bucket Challenge!
Are there any heroes out there? Am I the only one left? If so, they need to get off their…
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