Top 15 Nicest Places to Get Your Ass Kicked in Philadelphia
Philly has unfairly been the butt end of a lot of jokes about being full of misanthropic sports gremlins, but…
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Ben Friedman
299 stories found
Goth Can’t Fall Asleep Without Screams of the Tormented Noise Machine
SEATTLE — Local goth Amelia Jones discovered the only way she can fall asleep is through the use of a…
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Finally! My Teen Angst Has Given Way to Adult Malaise
I’ve often been called a late bloomer. While I’ve always resented that label, everyone who called me that had a…
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Target Reduces Pride Month Collection to Single T-Shirt of Androgynous Person Shrugging
MINNEAPOLIS — Target announced they would be reducing this year’s selection of Pride merchandise to a single t-shirt depicting an…
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Man Gives Up His Seat on Subway for Pop Punk Veteran
NEW YORK — Riders on the New York subway’s C train caught a rare act of generosity as a man…
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Opinion: Here’s Why I Sold My House and Moved Into an Eames Lounge Chair
Those of us lucky enough to own a home know how much of a pain in the ass they are…
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Conservative Owns the Libs by Paying $4,000 a Month for His Ford F-350
CHATTANOOGA, Tenn. — Local conservative Bill Wallace announced he’s ramped up his fight against the liberal agenda by spending $4,000…
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Opinion: It Might Be the Gas Station Boner Pills Talking, but I Think I’m Experiencing Mass Organ Failure
Damn girl, this night has been magical. Looking at you now has me breaking out into a cold sweat. Like…
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The Hold Steady’s Children’s Book Mostly About Blacking Out at Minneapolis Dive Bars
NEW YORK — A preview of the upcoming children's book based on the lyrics of The Hold Steady’s “Stay Positive”…
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Opinion: Well, I Found the Clit. Now What?
Like the quests for the Fountain of Youth or the Holy Grail, I too have spent what feels like eons…
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