Sad! This Guy Had to Leave His Band After Being Promoted to Shift Manager
It’s never easy watching someone fall from grace while still in their prime, and even worse when you have to…
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Ben Friedman — Page 13
353 stories found
Bartender Exhausted From Long Day of Ignoring Patrons
MINNEAPOLIS — Local bartender Scott Wilson informed his coworkers he’d be taking an indefinite smoke break as he’d reached the…
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Grindcore Frontman with Writer’s Block Only Writing 19 Songs a Day
FORT WORTH, Texas — The lead singer of local grindcore band Razor Masturbator found his creative output drop dramatically after…
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Midwest Punk Returns Missing Wallet with More Money Than When He Found It
CHICAGO — A tourist’s evening was saved after a local Midwest crust punk was nice enough to return their missing…
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House Show Becomes Basement Show After Sinkhole Opens Beneath Living Room
ST. PAUL, Minn. — A lineup of bands playing at popular punk house Chalet Cretin has been quickly re-billed as…
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The Next Jay Gatsby? This Asshole From Long Island Keeps Drunk Dialing His Ex
Nostalgia can be as intoxicating as the most powerful liquor. In the events of the literary masterpiece “The Great Gatsby”,…
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Kamala Harris Lead Jumps in Iowa After Naming “Vol 3. (The Subliminal Verses)” as Favorite Slipknot Album
DES MOINES, Iowa — A new poll shows Kamala Harris’ lead over Donald Trump nearly doubled after telling rallygoers that…
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Friends Stage Emergency Intervention Over Man’s Refusal to Shave Soul Patch
BUFFALO, N.Y. — Local man Greg Wachowski was surprised by an intense and emotional intervention regarding his refusal to shave…
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Opinion: My Next Tattoo Will Be the One That Fixes Me
As someone riddled with multiple hang ups, insecurities, and repressed emotions you’d be correct in thinking that I absolutely need…
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Anti-Abortion Picketer Attends 40th Consecutive Farmer’s Market Converting Zero People
ANOKA, Minn. — A conservative anti-abortion picketer was confused after being unable to convert a single person to his cause,…
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