Inflation Impacting Food Baby Rates
HYATTSVILLE, Md. — Higher than ever inflation rates have reached a point where they are now markedly impacting food baby…
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Arielle Andreano — Page 2
55 stories found
Heart Reveal They Were Challenged To Name Five of Their Own Songs Before Rock and Roll Hall of Fame Induction
CLEVELAND — Classic rock band Heart revealed that they were challenged to name five of their own songs before they…
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Opinion: Snoopy Is Kind of a Dick for Wasting Housing
You know Snoopy, the universally beloved figure from everyone’s childhood who brings joy and whimsy to all. Well, think again!…
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New Music Streaming App Will Take Money Directly From Artists on User’s Canceled List
SAN FRANCISCO — A new music streaming app will take money directly from controversial artists so that users may listen…
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RFK Jr. Learns Eating Pussy a Sex Thing, Not a Dead Cat Thing
WASHINGTON — Robert F. Kennedy Jr. recently learned that, after spending some time on select Reddit threads, eating pussy is…
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Sociologists Confirm Childfree Women Who Like Bob Seger Technically Daddies
CAMBRIDGE, Mass. — Top sociologists at Harvard University revealed that childfree women who like Bob Seger are, in fact, technically…
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Boomers Accuse Millennials of Killing JonBenét Ramsey
WHITE RIVER JUNCTION, Vt. — Baby boomers nationwide are reportedly accusing millennials of killing child beauty pageant star JonBenét Ramsey,…
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Four Out of Five Physical Therapists Now Recommend Just Astral Projecting Out of Your Fucked Up Body
ALEXANDRIA, Va. — Four out of five physical therapists now recommend the technique of astral projection for dealing with chronic…
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Opinion: Cutting Bangs is Not “Letting the Intrusive Thoughts Win” Unless You Do It With a Samurai Sword You Grabbed Off a Museum Wall Before Getting Tackled By Security
Okay, folks. Gather round, because you’ve all been pissing me off, and it’s time we nipped this issue in the…
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Efficient Friends Cancel Plans While Making Them
NEW YORK — A local group of friends who are extremely efficient decided to go ahead and cancel plans while…
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