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Punk Band’s ‘Unapologetic’ Album Forces Group to Issue Public Apology

SEATTLE — Punk band The Dead Labor issued a public apology today via Facebook for the “unapologetic and raw” lyrical content of their new album, only one week after its release, sources close to the contrite band confirmed.

“We would like to apologize if we offended anyone — particularly, we’d like to apologize to people of color, women, little people, the LGBTQ community, and the nation of Monaco,” the post read. “It does not represent who we are as a band or as individuals.”

The band’s apology continued, “In the course of trying to expose the fraud that is America, we may have gone overboard and offended some. Again, we sincerely apologize. However, if any of you gang-affiliated illegal immigrants still have a problem with us, we suggest you pick up your anchor babies and get out of our country.”

The new album, Let the Ruling Classes Tremble, is the latest from the “brash, no-holds-barred outfit that isn’t afraid to stir up controversy,” according to The Dead Labor’s Bandcamp page. In a recent interview with Seattle newspaper The Stranger, frontman Kip Woolcott claimed, “We tell the truth, and if the truth upsets a people, well, that’s their fault.”

Woolcott issued an additional apology almost immediately after publication of the interview for calling the female interviewer a ‘Harpy Twat’ and for punching the videographer. However, some feel the most recent apologies are not enough.

“They have a track titled ‘Sandy Hook Hoax.’ What did they expect?” said Seattle musician Kendra Hart. “They should apologize just as much for the triteness of their lyrics as the content. I mean, I don’t think ‘A Love Song to Idi Amin’ is really going to offend anyone outside of Uganda.”

“An apology for the band’s apology will be posted tomorrow,” band manager Dennis Wynn said in responding to the criticisms.

The band, who claim to have learned from this mistake, were last seen celebrating the long-awaited arrival of their Nazi soldier costumes.