The world is a threatening place. There’s lotsa scary stuff out there — like Democrat professors denigrating America by bringing up slavery — but I’m not afraid, because God will protect me from Satan and His Deep State minions. Heck, the Bible’s pretty gosh darn clear on God’s abilities. As it says in Psalm 147, “Great is our Lord, and of great power; His understanding is infinite.”
And while it’s true that God can summon literally any weapon He wants to smite His enemies, I still have my own arsenal in the battle against demonic leftists. And let me be clear: I’m not questioning God’s power; I’m augmenting it with an AR-15 and a laser sight. Those libcucks Pearl Jam got one thing right when they sang, “Got a gun, fact I got two / That’s OK, man, ’cause I love God.” Remember: it’s “Thou shalt not kill,” not “Thou shalt not shoot.”
Speaking of: if God blessed His chosen people with firearms, it’s only logical that I use them to protect me, my wife, and my nine children from cultural marxism. That’s why it’s important to focus on the real issues facing Americans, like stock-bump bans and waiting periods. Seriously, how can I protect my family from weather weapons if I can’t buy a grenade launcher today? Firearms are also why I don’t bother with vaccines or washing my hands. I don’t need soap when I can just kill germs and viruses with 147-grain hollow points from my Glock G19.
As for my underground bunker, well, that’s for when the Soros-funded globalists launch another plandemic to start over with their army of transhumanist antifas. Thanks to My Patriot Supply, me and my family can hunker down for months with emergency food kits, a solar-powered generator, and a water filtration system. I’ve also got plenty of home-schooling materials, including the whole Liberty Lane Series, to make sure my children don’t become indoctrinated by woke.
I have no doubt about the righteousness of my struggle, because God put Trump in office to make sure my Second Amendment right is protected. After all, it ain’t no coincidence that you can’t spell “magazine” without “MAGA.” I’m not trying to say God NEEDS me and my insane cache of weapons, I just think He’ll appreciate the help come judgment day.
